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FAMILY TRAINING. 



• 



BY REV. W. A. NICHOLS, 

Principal of the Brookfield Family School. 



"That oar sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our 
daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a 
palace." Kisg David. 



BOSTON: 

S. K. WHIPPLE & C 0. 

1853. 






.Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1853, hy W. A. Nich- 
ols, in the Clerk's office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 



Worcester: 
Printed by Henry J. Howland. 



TO MY RESPECTED PATRONS, 



THE FATHERS AND MOTHERS 



OF THE 



BROOKFIELD FAMILY SCHOOL 



THIS LITTLE VOLUME 



IS GRATEFULLY INSCRIBED 



NOTE. 

Those who read these pages will find, not the details, but 
the principles, in accordance with which the pupils of the 
family mansion are instructed and trained. They are set 
forth in this public form, with the humble hope, that what- 
ever has been found useful here, may be usefully employed by 
others. 

The author embraces this opportunity, cordially to express 
his sense of obligation, especially, to his early patrons whose 
permanent patronage, through a series of years, sustained 
this nursery institution, while it was acquiring a name and 
a reputation beyond the limits of the Commonwealth. Num- 
bers of those children, now advanced to manhood, have freely 
expressed their indebtedness to this early household training. 
These expressions, the teachers would now reciprocate with 
parental affection ; while they sincerely hope, that the mature 
age of no one will have suffered from this early relation. 
BrooTcfield, Nov. 1852. 



CONTENTS 



I. Introductory, 9 

II. Self-Control, a Eeqnisite in Family Training, - 12 
HI. Father and Mother constitute the Social Head of the 

Family, 25 

IV. Family Training includes Discipline and Instruction, 34 

V. Words respecting the Subject of this Training, - 38 

VI. The Divine Government as a Model for the Parent, 45 

VII. Features in the Divine Government, which are 

applicable to Family Training, ... 52 
VEH. More Features in the Divine Government Illustrated, 64 

IX. Proper Training requires Time, - 72 

X. Too much Government Hurtful, .... 84 

XI. Yes or No, 89 

XII. Period of Training, 94 

Xm. Physical Training, 103 



Vlll CONTENTS. 

XIV. Physical Training, 109 

XV. Physical Training. — Hints and Cautions, - - 117 

XVI. Moral Instruction, 125 

XVII. Moral Instruction, 131 

XVIII. Early Piety, ----.-- 139 

XIX. Early Piety : — Its Loveliness and Value, - - 145 

XX. Growth of Early Piety, 153 

XXI. Juvenile Eeading, 161 

XVII. Youthful Amusements, 174 

XXin. Juvenile Beneficence, - - - - - 188 



FAMILY TRAINING. 



i. 

INTRODUCTORY. 

A rising family is a scene of rare beauty ; — es- 
pecially, when the natural relation of parents and 
children is thoroughly understood, and harmoni- 
ously sustained. -Here is more than a scene for 
the painter. It is a charming reality, which no 
truly social heart can fail to enjoy. It has beau- 
ties which no pencil can portray,* and, in the 
home bosom, it will find responses which no lan- 
guage can adequately express. Indeed, if there 
could be perfect happiness anywhere this side of 
a heaven of perfect holiness, I should feel inclined 
to seek it first, in a well trained and well regula- 
ted pious family. For sure I am, that no com- 
bination of society is more wisely adapted to 
secure true enjoyment to its members. 
% 



10 FAMILY TRAINING. 

At the suggestion of some kind friends, I pro- 
pose to offer some practical thoughts respecting 
the training of children. It has been suggest- 
ed, that I might very naturally do this from the 
position which I have for some time occupied in 
society. I have been a father; and have felt, 
what none but a parent knows, a new fountain of 
being, as it were, developed within me, and gush- 
ing forth to meet and receive the new being pre- 
sented, as the gift of God, in a darling child. 
But, with me, these objects were destined to a 
brief continuance ; — -perhaps I should rather say 
to a speedy change. For I am inclined to be- 
lieve, that no true parent loves his darling any 
the less, because removed from his sight by the 
hand of the Benevolent Giver. And since those 
little ones, who used to climb my knees and say, 
" My own Dear Father," have been transferred, 
my experience in family training has not been 
less full and constant; and I am now writing 
with no less than twenty-five around me, who 
look this way for protection and care, — to whom, 
from my intimate relations, I owe a good exan> 



INTRODUCTORY. 1 1 

pie, and the best training my humble ability can 
secure. If I do not bring to this subject an ex? 
perience so protracted as that which many others 
have enjoyed, still with me, the experience of 
many years has been concentrated into a few. 
Though I cannot offer the very desirable certifi- 
cate of hoary locks and a wrinkled brow, I would 
respectfully suggest the authority of no inconsid- 
erable number of facts, extending over such vari- 
ety of observation, as should, to some extent, 
form the basis of correct conclusion. 

I shall talk freely with my readers, as an 
honest man talketh with his friend, on matters of 
no trivial importance, 

In discussing the moral bearings of this sub- 
ject^ the Bible will be my leading text-book. 
From it, I shall endeavor to ascertain the mind of 
the Great Teacher; and hope that all matters, 
which lie above the common range of human 
opinion, will be cheerfully submitted to the obvk 
ous decisions of God's Word. 

I shall mainly discuss principles, from which 
the detail may be inferred by the aid of due re- 



12 FAMILY TRAINING. 

flection; and any suggestions, as to modes and 
rules for household use, will be deductions from 
known principles of the human mind, established 
by facts, gathered by observation. In short, it 
will be my object to write from the bosom of a 
real home, — one that is loved and enjoyed ; be- 
lieving also that I write for the responsible in- 
mates of other real homes of a similar character ; 
and that we all may be made happier and better 
by renewed contemplations of our duty, and by 
a renewed perseverance in our practice. 



II. 

SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE IN FAMILY TRAINING. 

I presume on the hearty concurrence of my 
readers who may be parents, when I say that 
self-control in the parent, is eminently conducive 
to success in family government. You know, 
that in estimating the probable success of any 
performance, the fitness of the instrument is to 



SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 13 

have no small share of consideration. As tem- 
perature and atmosphere do much to crown the 
efforts of the husbandman with satisfactory re- 
sults, so the spirit and manner of prosecuting this 
work, will essentially modify the issues. We 
know that a concord of sweet sounds is never 
drawn from a set of ill-adjusted strings ; so neith- 
er do the fruits of well-adjusted harmony arise 
from spasmodic and variable movements in the 
directive influence of a family. The most beau- 
tiful and delicate flower does not develop its rich 
folds to perfection, under the rapid alternations of 
excessive heat and cold. Surely the laws of na- 
ture must be more uniform in their operations, 
else their products will be more imperfect and 
less valuable. But equanimity of temper and 
carriage is no less valuable in training " the olive- 
plants " which spring up around your table, and 
fire-side. Indeed, you will allow me to say, that 
self-government in the parent, is absolutely essen- 
tial to any tolerable success with the children. 
On the contrary, wherever this control is perse- 
veringly exercised, in connection with a tolerable 



14 FAMILY TRAINING. 

degree of good sense, we hardly anticipate a seri- 
ous failure. 

Self-control is especially needed to secure the 
requisite degree of equanimity in the varied move- 
ments towards the child. Without some degree 
of this, we cannot even commence in a proper 
manner. 

We know that the husbandman, the mechanic, 
and the artist, place great reliance upon the uni- 
formity of natural laws, for success in prosecuting 
their several departments of enterprise. If these 
laws were not substantially true to themselves, 
no definite results could be predicated, when they 
were laid under contribution for a definite object. 
And equanimity in the parent, is hardly less es- 
sential to the successful training of the child. 
This position will doubtless suggest the case of 
more than one parent, whose theory of family 
government looks well enough on paper; and 
there is no lack of desire to put this theory into 
successful practice. These parents show suffi- 
cient solicitude for the welfare of those dear 
ones committed to their charge. If theory, and 



SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 15 

desire, and solicitude, could of themselves accom- 
plish the work, the character of the child would 
not want for excellence. But so variable are the 
feelings, and in many instances, so uncontrollable 
is the impulse, and consequently so irregular and 
inconstant is the treatment, that the child can 
predicate no certainty as to what direction the 
administration of the government he is under 
will next take ; or what phase of it, his present 
conduct will bring up on the side next to him. 
While, from the movements of almost everything 
else around him, he learns to associate more or 
less definitely, an appropriate effect with a given 
cause, the treatment of his parent seems to form 
an exception to this general order. Threats and 
promises, rewards and punishments, instead of 
following the merits of the case, are either sub- 
stituted, the one for its opposite, or carried to ex- 
tremes now in this direction, and now in that, too 
much as momentary impulse may direct. What- 
ever may be well done on one occasion, is liable 
to be weakened or counteracted on another. As 
almost every movement takes type and coloring 



16 FAMILY TRAINING. 

from the momentary impulse, it follows almost 
as a matter of certainty, that the child who is 
subject to these variable influences, will soon 
learn to act the philosopher, as the only resort for 
self-protection and defence ; and instead of grow- 
ing up under the equable and wholesome manage- 
ment of the parent, become himself a consum- 
mate manager, under the ever-shifting modes of 
the parent. So far is he from submitting to in- 
fluences which should mould him, he, as it were, 
instinctively, grows into a system of manceuver- 
ing, by which he controls the influences which 
should form him. Hence spring up, in early 
life, the many forms of artifice, of intrigue and 
of falsehood; which, taking strong root in the 
character thus early, prevent the subsequent 
growth of excellence. Such a parent will some- 
times say, in his or her haste, that her children 
are worse than other people's. No doubt they 
are worse than many others ; and, for the plainest 
of all reasons. The government under which 
they develop, is such, that they cannot be as 
promising as others, unless by the intervention of 



SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 17 

some supernatural cause; and they have every 
prospect of becoming worse than they now are. 
This the parent often sees, and bitterly grieves 
over the growing defects of the darling child ; 
and yet a little reflection would show that his 
own deficiency in self-government is the prolific 
source of the evils he deplores. As I have al- 
ready suggested, his own variable impulses have 
necessarily created a manager of the child ; and, 
until he commences the work of self-reform, he 
must continue to mourn over the certain evi- 
dence of fickleness and duplicity in his offspring. 
If you have not already anticipated, you will 
I trust, coincide with me in the position, that the 
patience and 'perseverance arising from self-con- 
trol, are also requisites to the successful training 
of families. Not a few address themselves to 
this work with correct opinions; nor are they 
wanting in purpose ; and yet they accomplish but 
little for want of perseverance. Many a good 
work is commenced, and, anon, abandoned ; eith- 
er because it brings with it too severe a trial for 
the susceptibilities of the parent, or, it may be, 



18 FAMILY TRAINING. 

success is not experienced so rapidly as desired. 
When a case of contumacy becomes protracted a 
little beyond what was anticipated, perhaps the 
parent yields instead of the child ; or, at least, 
the retreat on the side of authority is so covered 
by some substitute in the treatment, as to show a 
seeming victory, while no submission is felt on 
the part of the child ; and the scene closes with 
a show of achievment on the side of authority, 
but with a conscious triumph with the other par- 
ty ; a consciousness which matures the purpose 
for subsequent resistance. In all such trials, pa- 
tience must have its perfect work in the mind of 
the parent, or nothing will be perfected in the 
character of the child. He who would rule his 
own house well, must first acquire rule over his 
own spirit. If he fails of control over the ele- 
ments of his own bosom, he will often fall short 
of his aim, through lack of perseverance. Some- 
times the most important work will be left half 
finished, and the result prove more undesirable, 
than if nothing had been commenced. The 
want of self-control will be a constant temptation 



SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 19 

either to press the case unduly for the sake of de- 
spatch or to substitute some easier process, which 
will really abridge the needful work, and relieve 
the parent by releasing the child. I need not say 
that either of these deviations from the calm, the 
thorough and persevering course, will result in a 
loss of the main object, and perhaps in such a 
loss as will be irreparable. 

The leading object of the parent's present ef- 
fort, is not always an immediate result ; but the 
perfection of that result is more often remote. 
And hence, I may be allowed to say, that in or- 
der to secure the successful development of the 
child, two considerations are of especial impor- 
tance. The peculiar qualities and characteristics 
of the child's mental and 'physical constitution 
should be the subject of constant attention. For, 
one child differs from another, almost as much as 
the hard granite differs from the Parian marble ; 
or as that marble differs from the most unsubstan- 
tial sandstone. Now while the skilful artist 
would apply the general principles of sculpture 
to all alike, he will not have the same model pre- 



20 FAMILY TRAINING. 

cisely to guide him in the design of each, nor 
would he in each case address himself to his 
work precisely in the same manner ; hut, with a 
knowledge of his different materials, he would 
have before him a model, adapted to each kind ; 
and he must endeavor to make each piece of work 
perfect after its kind ; and, with this intention, he 
will employ the means which in his wisdom are 
best adapted to secure the end. So the reflecting 
parent, while he does not even hope to bring all 
the members of the -family precisely to the same 
standard, will constantly study the susceptibilities 
of each child, as embracing a body and a mind ; 
and then keep as constantly before his own men- 
tal vision, a model suited to the material upon 
which he labors ; and every stroke of deliberate 
effort is aimed more or less directly, with the in- 
tention to bring out a finished character from the 
undeveloped elements. As the sculptor, whose 
scientific eye sees the perfect statue, while yet 
in the centre of the marble block, and directs the 
first stroke of his chisel, no less than the last, to 
bring out and exhibit that perfection; so the 



SELF-COffTROL, A REQUISITE. 21 

clear-sighted parent sees the finished man or wo- 
man, through the more rude and outer coatings 
of the child • and that foresight brings from the 
future some of the most important and powerful 
motives, to influence his present movements. But 
when, losing sight of these, he is governed main- 
ly by the convenience of the passing moment, 
he will most surely fail of his grand mission, as a 
parent. For there is a very important sense, in 
which the parent must keep in view the end 
from the beginning of his labor upon the child. 
But he cannot do this, unless he has first learned 
to keep in some good degree of subjection, the 
disturbing forces in his own mind. 

In the loss of self-control, you will also have 
noticed the certain loss of dignity. And when 
the requisite dignity of a governor is gone, a 
prime element of good influence over others is 
wanting. Dignity is a quality, or, rather, a joint 
influence of many qualities, for which there can 
be no substitute. A loss of self-control, is, as it 
were, a disbanding of those united qualities, 
whose associated influence make us worthy the 



22 FAMILY TRAINING. 

respect and regard of others. So long as these 
qualities are combined in harmonious office, they 
constitute after their measure, a commanding in- 
fluence, which, within its appropriate sphere, may 
be irresistible ; when disbanded, or set one against 
another, as they sometimes are by a sudden im- 
pulse of anger, or a panic of impatience, no one 
of them is able to command alone. And while 
this anarchy of the mental forces is continued, 
there is within the man, no influence which is 
adequate to go forth and control abroad. For 
the time being, there is a positive dethronement 
of power. For the mind which is distracted in 
its own movements, cannot be respected by other 
minds, much less can it command them. 

After all, the great work of family training is, 
to teach the young the art, and secure for them 
the practice, of self government. Very little of 
substantial value is secured, until some degree of 
progress is made in this department. When fam>- 
ily government is solely administered by the force 
of absolute law, the law-giver must ever be near 
with a rigorous enforcement of sanctions, TJntii 



SELF-CONTROL, A REQUISITE. 23 

he can succeed in writing some salutary and bind- 
ing laws in the minds and upon the consciences 
of his children, which will remain there, as a law 
unto themselves, to control them inwardly, and 
hold them to some degree of duty in the absence 
of all external command — until something of this 
is secured, obedience, however perfect in the let- 
ter, will have but little reality in the spirit ; and 
the movements to duty will be, mainly, up-hill 
work. But in teaching self-government, doubt- 
less, no lessons are more influential than those of 
example. While, ,on the other hand, our train- 
ing with the view to secure self-government in 
our children, must have a feeble influence, so long 
as it is seen by them, that we do not govern 
ourselves. The instinctive retort will come home, 
with a cutting power, when by their looks and 
actions they seem to say, " Physician, heal thy- 
self." If we freely practice what we strenuous- 
ly endeavor to eradicate in the conduct of our 
children, we shall be liable to increase the very 
evil we wish to cure. 

He who governs by impulse, or caprice, must 



24 FAMILY TRAINING. 

often undo his imprudent acts, by retraction, or 
suffer their mal-influence to prey upon the wel- 
fare of his offspring ; and whoever is obliged to 
retract his movements often, and thus frequently 
acknowledge, practically, that he has done wrong, 
cannot long retain the confidence of those who 
are to suffer from his imprudence. 

I have extended this number to a much great- 
er length than I intended, and hope I may re- 
ceive pardon for the trespass, in consideration of 
the importance attached to the subject. Where 
the social head of a family have little rule over 
their own spirits, the dependent members, how- 
ever interesting in other respects, will be much 
like a city that is broken down and without 
walls ; while such as can and do sway an even 
and safe rule over themselves, are, so far, qualified 
to do a greater work on the rising generation, 
than the captor of the strongest castle. 



THE SOCIAL HEAD. 25 



III. 

FATHER AND MOTHER CONSTITUTE THE SOCIAL HEAD 
OF THE FAMILY. 

It seems appropriate, that a few words should 
be said, before proceeding with other topics, as to 
the proper sources of discipline and instruction in 
a course of family training. We sometimes hear 
it said of a family, that the father has all the 
government of the. children j and of another, that 
the mother is almost the sole manager and in- 
structress of those who also look to her for fa- 
vors. Some, who speculate on these subjects, 
think the father ought to rough-hew the charac- 
ter, as it were, and leave the rest to his fair con- 
sort. In many books, a mother's influence is of- 
ten alluded to, in connection with high attain- 
ments in subsequent life, in such a manner, that 
the reader might infer, that a great and good man 
could be easily made, almost without any father, 
provided his early years were blest with a good 
3 



26 FAMILY TRAINING. 

mother. Not a few would point out what they 
suppose the middle and safer way ; that is, to let 
father manage the boys, and mother the girls. 

Now I apprehend, that none of these views are 
in the highest degree practical. The truth is, it 
takes both father and mother to make one head 
of a family. And the question, as to which 
must do the most, is not a practical one. Each 
must do what the Creator has assigned to each, 
and this is just what the other cannot do, except 
imperfectly. To me nothing seems clearer than 
this position \ and some of the reasons for it are 
obvious. 

The father and mother, for instance, are con- 
stituted the social head. This relation is funda- 
mental in the family institution. In this united 
capacity, they are God's appointed officers, to 
preside over, to rule and guide the household. 
And under this appointment, neither one, can 
safely, nor lawfully, transfer the whole or even a 
part of the labor, or responsibility, to the other. 
It is doubtless true, in many instances, that one 
of the parents may be better qualified, both by 



THE SOCIAL HEAD. 27 

nature and education, to perform his or her part 
of family training. But this superior qualification 
does not fit the one to perform, as perfectly, the 
duties assigned to the other. I shall readily con- 
cede that superior fitness, on one side, may he 
some compensation for deficiency on the other. 
But every child needs the whole of a father, and 
the whole of a mother. And the father must be 
a real man, and the mother a real woman ; — mas- 
culine and feminine, not merely in their physical 
structure, but truly such in their intellectual, so- 
cial and moral endowments. A masculine wo- 
man, however well she may be qualified to sua- 
i;ain offices of state, can never discharge to per- 
fection the duties of a mother at home ; and a 
feminine man, however excellent in other re? 
spects, will make but an indifferent father, while 
endeavoring to exert the influence which GrO(J. 
fcas assigned to that office. While the Creator 
has made the two and kindly united them, as in* 
separable parts of a unit, in their relation to the 
family, he has not made them interchangeable. 
Indeed the specific influence which each should 



28 FAMILY TRAINING. 

exert on the family, is hardly less distinct than 
are the sexes themselves, and hence the absence 
of either side, is a loss to the family, for which 
there can be no perfect substitute by the other* 
"And these are no more twain, but one flesh," 
saith our Lord ; and this unity has, perhaps, a 
more important reference to the children, than to 
anything else to which it can relate. But how 
greatly is this divinely constituted unity pervert- 
ed, when the parents essentially disagree as to the 
principles of governing, and the modes of train- 
ing the family ; especially when the contradicto- 
ry peculiarities of each are carried into practice 
towards the children. We are not to anticipate 
that the individuals of the social head will never 
differ on specific points of action. Human im- 
perfection does not allow us to look for this, 
without more or less of exceptions. Bat in all 
well regulated families, this difference will be 
discussed in private, until the parties are, at least, 
qualified to act in concert ; and the two systems 
will not be allowed to clash in their operation on 
the same subject. I am sure I shall not offend, 



THE SOCIAL HEAD. 29 

when I say, it is only among the lowest forms of 
family government, that one of the parents sides 
openly with the child, and directly interferes with 
a process of discipline commenced by the other. 

It is readily conceded by all who think on this 
subject, that every son needs especially the in- 
fluence of a mother; and no assertion perhaps 
contains more practical truth. And so does every 
daughter need the influence of a father as really, 
if not equally. It was once replied by a shrewd 
and intelligent young woman, that no lady wish- 
ed to find in a gentleman the peculiar character- 
istics of her own sex j and this I suppose is the 
spontaneous feeling which the Creator has plant- 
ed in the heart of every true woman ; and for the 
wisest of reasons. So that every female mind 
needs a masculine influence to aid in forming it, 
as truly as it relishes the society after the charac- 
ter is formed. 

The veriest nun may, no doubt, be trained to 
a strict sense and practice of justice, as also to 
the kind and benevolent feelings. Bat to affirm 
that a complete woman can be formed in this 



30 MMILY TRAINING. 

way, where every influence but that of female 
has been entirely excluded, implies a practical 
paradox. And it is equally safe to assert, that no 
monk, merely as such, ever arrived any nearer the 
standard of a real man. Where the child is edu* 
cated, either wholly or mainly, by its own sex, it 
will be prone to the extreme tendency on its own 
side. The girl is liable to become sensitive and 
fastidious to a fault, in that very direction in 
which a proper degree forms the peculiar excel- 
lence and charm of her sex. The boy, when 
surrendered wholly, or mainly, to the moulding 
influence of men, becomes, almost as a matter of 
course, too masculine, when the sterner and more 
rugged elements of character overgrow and crush 
the finer and more delicate sensibilities, which 
should ever be present in full proportion, to blend 
with, to enliven and grace the more sturdy ele- 
ments of manly bearing. Nor are these the only 
dangers which arise from a one-sided influence in 
training. For as in nature, so in education, one 
extreme is ever liable to be followed by the 
other. A boy whose nature has been tortured 



THE SOCIAL HEAD. 31 

into a semi-barbarism by a one-sided education, 
if that nature has enough of elasticity left to 
spring back towards its natural position, as action 
and reaction are equal, will have a strong liability 
to fly to the opposite extreme, and while, forever 
destitute of the nice sensibilities of a well-bal- 
anced training, may have a passionate fondness 
for the other sex, which so far from elevating and 
refining, may speedily plunge him into the vortex 
of the direst dissipation. And a girl who be- 
comes girlish in the extreme by a disproportionate 
female influence, if she ever breaks away from 
the shackles which will spoil her unless broken, 
will be more like to become a " gal boy," as our 
grandmothers used to call it ; in which case, the 
loss will be still greater than if she remained a 
very prude. 

Hence, in order to educate one child into a true 
woman, and another into a real man, such as In- 
finite Wisdom designed, and for which he has 
laid a foundation in our natures, each character 
requires to be constantly wrought upon, by an 
influence from the opposite sex; that is, father 



32 FAMILY TRAINING. 

and mother must both labor to mould the boys, 
and both also to give proper shape to the charac- 
ter of the girls. This cross-influence , constantly- 
exerted in due proportions of the proper quality, 
will prevent divergence, and cause the two lines 
of character to run parallel, each in its own sphere j 
and each fulfil the circle marked by Heaven. 

Whether either branch of the family govern- 
ment should have the decisive authority in ex- 
treme cases, and where a harmony of views does 
not exist, I leave for each social organization to 
determine for themselves; since, in this day of 
many words on the subject of various rights, it 
hardly becomes an obscure writer to publish an 
opinion even to his friends. This, however, you 
may readily concede, that the masculine qualities 
of the father qualify him to manage the more 
difficult cases of the sons, especially of those in 
advanced years. While every son and daughter 
ought to be so disciplined and instructed, in in- 
fancy, and childhood, that occasions requiring 
transfer from the feminine to the masculine 
branch, will be rare. 



THE SOCIAL HEAD. 33 

Every father should most studiously avoid ev- 
ery movement which will have the least tendency 
to weaken the authority or diminish the influence 
of the mother. Whenever an exigency requires 
a transfer of agency, the work should be perform- 
ed in behalf of the mother. Obedience and res- 
toration should be secured for her, so that the en- 
tire result, so far as possible, shall be the same as 
though the entire case had been adjusted by her 
alone. Anything less than this, will rapidly di- 
minish maternal authority, and reduce the best of 
mothers to the servile subjection of domineering 
children. 

In closing this number, I was upon the point 
of saying, that the influence of father and mother 
should be as perfectly interwoven upon the child 
as the warp and woof of the best proportioned 
fabric. But this in one respect is too coarse a 
figure ; that is, it leaves the separate portions of 
influence too far apart, and too isolated, each from 
the other. The joint influence should rather be 
compared to the most perfect mixture of the ma- 
terials, where each is separately dyed in the wool ; 



34 FAMILY TRAINING. 

and then so intermingled, as to result in a com- 
plexion perfectly distinct from either, through a 
compound of both. This evidently is the Crea- 
tor's plan ; and those who carry out the plan most 
nearly to perfection, will doubtless be blest with 
the highest degree of success. 



IV. 

FAMILY TRAINING INCLUDES DISCIPLINE AND IN- 
STRUCTION. 

Solomon says, — " Train up a child in the way 
he should go, and when he is old he will not de- 
part from it." In the first clause of the verse 
we have a specific direction for practice. The 
latter clause implies, that faithful and persevering 
effort shall not go unrewarded. While the hearts 
of our children are in the hands of the Lord, we 
feel that good results will as surely flow from 
faithful efforts, as that any effect will flow from 
its appropriate cause. The experience of ages 
has tested the soundness of this position. Fami- 



\ 



DISCIPLINE AND INSTRUCTION. 35 

ly training involves two distinct considerations — 
discipline and instruction. And though distinct, 
they are most intimately related. No child can 
proceed far in the journey of life with profit, un- 
less assisted from both these departments of cul- 
ture. Nor can either of them do much for him, 
without the assistance of the other. You will 
allow me to call them the two guardian helpers 
of the child, in a difficult course toward an hon- 
orable and useful manhood. The Father of Mer- 
cies has given these twin auxiliaries a home in 
the bosom of every discreet parent ; thence to go 
forth to their work on the rising character, at the 
bidding of chastened affection and a conscien- 
tious sense of duty. Through the natural solici- 
tude and rational love of the parent, these two 
departments of training were designed to act up- 
on the child's welfare ; and, lest they should fail 
wholly, or in part, even when aided by these fa- 
cilities, he has added the clear instructions of his 
own Inspired Word. The instructions of the 
Bible are the most full and clear on those very 
points, where human weakness would be the 



36 FAMILY TRAINING. 

most liable to err. The Divine Author well 
knew that our natural affection, under the influ- 
ence of imperfect natures, would need line upon 
line, touching specific duty, to prevent our re- 
lapse into an irrational fondness, whose perverted 
action would defeat the very object it was inten- 
ded to secure. Natural affection must be strong 
and tireless, in order to undertake and carry out 
successfully the momentous interests of the child, 
and this very essential strength will sometimes 
cause it to fail in securing the object, if sober 
reason and Revelation are not often called in as 
counsellors. I say this very intensity, under the 
guidance of false principles, will defeat its own 
aims. The parent may, and often does, love his 
child to destruction, both temporal and eternal. 
Hence, all judicious training involves both disci- 
pline and instruction. But in treating these spe- 
cific topics, you will not require that I should al- 
ways keep them distinct. It will be more natu- 
ral, and often more convenient, to intermingle the 
two, as they stand in practical life. There they 
must go hand in hand, one preparing the way for 



DISCIPLINE AND INSTRUCTION. 37 

the other, and also working with it, to render the 
whole substantial. 

Discipline, when not attended by wholesome 
instruction, is often like "vinegar upon nitre." It 
excites a strong effervescence of passion, which, 
being under no guiding, controlling influence, is 
not directed to secure any valuable end. The 
discipline makes no advance upon the character ; 
and often leaves the last state of the child worse 
than the first. Discipline, without kind and 
wholesome instruction, is too often the offspring 
of rashness ; and when it is so, becomes in turn 
the prolific source of disaffection and obstinacy. 
And if you set instruction alone to guide and 
form the expanding nature, you will fail almost 
as surely as you undertake. For in this case, in- 
struction as tutor, will often be so far in advance 
of the pupil as not to be a guide. The intellect 
may be kept full of the most wholesome pre- 
cepts, and yet be almost as constantly leaking out, 
as it were, through the loose propensities and un- 
trained habits. Unless healthful discipline be 
always v. tin call, and ready to minister salutary 



38 FAMILY TRAINING. 

aid, when needed, much good instruction will go 
for nothing. According to the suggestion of good 
Robert Cecil, — Our children will make up their 
minds to follow our instructions; but unless we 
strengthen and guard these good resolutions with 
persevering care, their bodies, uiider the influence 
of the appetites and passions which dwell in 
them, will be ever neutralizing the best inclina- 
tions and the strongest purposes. 



V. 

WORDS RESPECTING THE SUBJECT OF THIS TRAINING. 

The subject of this training is your child. The 
first recognition it made of you, as father and 
mother, was a moment of inexpressible interest. 
This recognition implies that you are to perform 
the most decided and important part in giving 
direction to its impulses; — in cutting deep the 
channels for its joy or sorrow. You, with a bless- 
ing on your fidelity, or a frown on your neglect, 
are to determine, more than any other created 



WORDS RESPECTING THIS TRAINING. 39 

being, whether he shall be useful or worthless. 
Whether he shall make his father glad, or bring 
his mother to shame, will, to a great extent, de- 
pend on the manner you discharge parental duty. 
You have doubtless regarded any action in rela- 
tion to such interests as serious business, while 
neglect of action, you may be sure, is the worst 
kind of agency. How important that your earliest 
movements be the product of sound wisdom. 

Your child commences being in great feeble- 
ness. It has the merest germ of a mind in a 
very delicate body ; and God has given it an in- 
stinct which calls on you to supply its deficien- 
cies. Those puny hands are almost useless, ex- 
cept when extended to you for assistance. Its 
tottering steps seek support just where the Crea- 
tor has lodged the requisite care and ability. To 
find it hands and feet and muscles, while its own 
are in embryo, are the parent's duty in this de- 
partment. Air and nourishment and rest and ex- 
ercise, in such proportions and degree as will de- 
velop this germ according to the Maker's plan, 
are also yours to superintend. The successful 



40 FAMILY TRAINING. 

exercise of a physical nature which is to be the 
temporary home of a human soul, affords large 
scope for the exercise of enlightened common 
sense. God indeed has laid the foundation, and 
is himself the master-workman ; and yet he has 
in no small degree, left the care of developement 
to his human auxiliaries. As such, it deeply be- 
comes parents so to consider their employment as 
not to mar his handiwork. 

It is also to be considered that your child has 
entered upon his career in great ignorance. This 
ignorance has reference not only to his own con- 
dition and character, it has almost equal reference 
to every other subject of knowledge. His em- 
bryo faculties, which at first seem less perfect 
than what the brute possesses, lie, as it were, 
coiled up within a very small compass ; and yet 
are susceptible of an infinite expansion. Within 
this undeveloped coil is a heart, or moral nature^ 
with affections and a will, whose exercise and 
decisions are to fix his true glory or shame, — his 
joy or sorrow, through everlasting ages. 

Again, you cannot safely overlook the fact, 



WORDS RESPECTING THIS TRAINING. 41 

that your child is to develop in a world full of 
evil example. You do not claim perfection for 
yourself. Some of your own acts you would 
like to veil, though you cannot. And yet your 
personal influence upon the child is but a fraction 
of the whole which is to press upon his plastic 
mind. If your actions, therefore, were only 
good, your influence would be constantly weak- 
ened by counter-influences. The community in 
which you live, though it affords not a few models 
of excellence, abounds with noxious examples; 
and your children can hardly be anywhere, and 
not come in contact with some of them. Were 
they sent to your care as pure as the first man, 
when the Creator pronounced him very good, 
they would not go far in life, before the forbidden 
fruit would be held out to them by human 
hands ; and human tongues would suggest many 
specious reasons for compliance. But, in addi- 
tion to the many seductive influences from with- 
out, your children enter the world with 

A NATIVE BIAS FOR EVIL. 

To most of you, at least, this truth has long 
3 



42 FAMILY TRAINING. 

been an established article of belief. If any who 
may read this article have doubted on this point, 
it were, perhaps, a fruitless task to undertake a 
removal of these doubts, since all have an open 
Bible whose instructions on this point are as clear 
as they need be, if the Inspired Word were writ- 
ten expressly to announce this fact. As a confir- 
mation of revealed truth, your own eyes and 
ears have been open to see and hear for your- 
selves j and if you are old enough to be a parent, 
you must have learned that your children are 
naturally inclined to go astray. Whatever may 
be said about this, either in the Scriptures or out 
of them, with you this truth has become a palpa- 
ble matter of fact ; if your children are little an- 
gels, as many are pleased to call them, you know 
they must be fallen angels. Children are prone 
to evil ; and this, too, despite of constant precept 
and example to the contrary. If one were pass- 
ing through some extended valley, traversed by 
some noble river, whose current should be ob- 
structed every few miles by an embankment, and 
yet the water leaping over it j — the dam always 



WORDS RESPECTING THIS TRAINING. 43 

constructed to prevent the flow of the stream in 
a certain direction, and the water always rushing 
over in that direction, surely he would not ask 
which way the river run. Nor need any one be 
in any more doubt, as to the native tendency 
of human inclination. Indeed, all men practical- 
ly agree in this position. The whole structure 
of society is planned with reference to this truth ; 
and it is rarely, if ever denied, unless denial is 
jequisite to support some favorite theory which 
practice will always refute. Your child, therefore, 
?not only commences being with everything to 
learn, but in the process of learning, both from 
books and example, many things of an evil ten- 
dency will be pressed upon his attention. And 
these multiform inducements appeal to a heart 
naturally inclined the wrong way. Endowed 
with these capacities and possessing these tenden- 
cies, the child is committed, by the eternal pur^ 
pose of his Maker and your Maker, for guardian* 
ship and training. To facilitate such a work, 
you have given you, natural affection, reason, a 
jtnoral nature, and, above all, a divine revelation^ 



44 FAMILY TRAINING. 

to which you may at all times repair for aid. 
With these helps constantly at command, and 
other things heing equal, you are the best qualifi- 
ed for this work. If you can find others whom 
you deem more competent to finish it, you must 
commence it yourself ; and the manner in which 
you lay the foundation will essentially determine 
the character of the superstructure. If you build 
in, at this period, as it were, hay, wood, and 
stubble, you will not be surprised to find the 
structure comparatively worthless. If, as first, 
you embed the changeless principles of the Bible 
as adapted to human wants and human weal, 
you may cherish strong hopes that your offspring 
will honor you and his Maker with usefulness 
here, and be fitted hereafter to shine as the bright- 
ness of the firmament, and as the stars forever 
and ever. 



A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 45 



VI. 

THE DIVINE GOVERNMENT AS A MODEL FOR THE 
PARENT. 

As I have undertaken to address hints to the 
governors of a small social compact, they may 
naturally anticipate some views, as to the particu- 
lar form of government they are to exercise. 
Shall the fireside community constitute a democ- 
racy, a republic, or a monarchy ? I would say, 
neither of these exactly, nor all of them com- 
pounded. It should be a Christian patriarchal 
government, so far modified by the matriarchal, 
that, as I have said, the father and mother shall 
form the social head. And they united in one, 
should study to imitate, so far as practicable, the 
government of God. 

True it is, that none by searching can find 
out the Almighty to perfection ; and yet some 
very important parts of his ways are very evi- 
dent, even to the ordinary student of the Bible ; 
and I apprehend that the Scriptures clearly set 



46 FAMILY TRAINING. 

forth the general principles on which God gov- 
erns his creatures. Many of these principles are 
illustrated with more or less of distinctness in the 
life of almost every one, before he is old enough 
to be a parent ; and many of these ways of God 
to man are so plain, that common reflection will 
readily digest their import. To the writer, noth- 
ing has afforded greater pleasure, in his duties as 
a family governor, than the study of the divine 
government as a model for his own imitation. 
As I have introduced this subject with a firm 
persuasion of its great practical use, I shall be al- 
lowed to give some reasons for my suggestions. 
I would have the parent occupy, not the place 
of God, but the place which the Creator has as- 
signed him, both in his relations to the child, and 
to Himself, their common Father. I presume we 
shall not disagree, that, in a very important sense, 
the parent is God's vice-gerent to the child ; and 
a vice-gerent is certainly one who is appointed to 
carry out the administration of the supreme ruler, 
in some particular department of the government. 
In some sense, every parent is an appointed offi- 



A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 47 

cer in the divine government j and, as such, he 
is solemnly bound by the conditions of his paren- 
tal relation, to administer, on the divine plan, so 
far as he knows it, and so far as his ability will 
allow. And he is also under obligation to qualify 
himself with a knowledge of this plan, before he 
assumes the office. You will see additional rea- 
sons for this position, when you duly consider, 
that the superintendence of the parent over the 
child, is over the same mind and the same body 
that God governs ; and as the divine Lawgiver is 
also the Creator of the subject of that law, we 
cannot doubt, that the kind and the mode of the 
divine administration, are the most perfectly adapt- 
ed to the wants and welfare of the being who is 
the subject of it. So far then, as we can under- 
stand the divine mode, in its application to men 
in this life, and so far as our ability will allow, 
we are the most safe, and may hope to meet with 
the greatest success in adopting that mode as our 
model. 

The reason for adopting this as a model, so far 
as it is applicable, will still further appear from 



48 FAMILY TRAINING. 

the obvious truth, that the leading object of pa- 
rental training should be the same as that of the 
Creator. Your leading object in training your 
children cannot be different from his and be 
right. 

So far as you depart from him, in your ulti- 
mate design, so far will you mar and pervert the 
workmanship which he has himself commenced, 
and now partially committed to you, to mould 
and perfect for his purposes. Since then, in your 
labors, you are to have constantly in view the 
same leading object which God has, you will the 
most successfully prosecute that object, by falling 
in with his plans and modes, so far you know 
them. 

Again, your rightful authority over the child is 
directly delegated by God. You may say it 
arises from your indissoluble relation to him, as 
your offspring ; but this is only another form of 
saying the same thing. Who is the author of 
this relation ? The marriage relation is of God's 
appointment, and the family is his early and dear- 
ly cherished institution. It is older than the 



A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 49 

state, or the church ; and if your authority does 
come through natural relations, it proceeds none 
the less directly from the Divine Giver. 

The fact also, that God has especially appointed 
you, in the teachings of his Word, is additional 
proof that your government over your child, is to 
resemble his. This appointment he has ratified 
on your part, by solemnly commanding you to 
" Train them up in the nurture and admonition of 
the Lord;" and as solemnly on the part of the 
children, by the repeated injunctions to honor 
their parents, and pbey them in all things. When 
he commands them to obey them in all things, it 
is done on the supposition that you direct them 
according to the divine precepts. You are to fol- 
low the revealed plan in giving directions, and 
they are bound to follow the same plan in com- 
plying with your requests. One other important 
consideration is this. So far as God has given 
specific directions for family government, they 
are in perfect accordance with his own mode of 
governing the same subjects. And this is what 
every reflecting mind would anticipate. For it 



50 FAMILY TRAINING. 

would be a wonderful digression, not to say an 
impeachment of Divine Wisdom, if God should 
govern his intelligent and moral creatures, by one 
class of principles, and place another and opposite 
set in the hands of his vice-gerent, to administer 
to the same subjects ; and this too, when the pa- 
rents are to prosecute and to aim at the same re- 
sults as the great King himself. 

You will not, I am sure, charge him with such 
a mistake ; and, therefore, while his specific di- 
rections are infinitely better than any you can 
substitute from your own wisdom, for the same 
end, you may also adopt with the best results, 
such courses as may be fairly inferred from God's 
general dealings with his creatures. His dealings 
are freely developed in sacred history, especially 
during the Jewish Theocracy. You will also 
find many important facts clearly developed in 
civil history, both as they respect nations and in- 
dividuals, though drawn perhaps with less dis- 
tinctness than those revealed in Holy Writ. 

You have also the current developments of 
providence, as they came forth under the direc- 



A MODEL FOR THE PARENT. 51 

tion of the Great Ruler. In studying the gov- 
ernment of God, in the Theocracy of the Jews, 
we are to consider the points of difference be- 
tween that community and our own; and this 
difference, does, doubtless, allow of specific mod- 
ifications. It may not be dictation to suggest, 
that God, if standing directly at the head of this 
state as he did in the Hebrew Commonwealth, 
would vary his specific modes of governing us. 
But the specific modifications, would not alter 
the general principles j hence, while the ancient 
forms have passed away, the principles remain to 
us in their full value. I see but one difficulty 
in studying the divine model of government, as 
developed in civil history, and in daily provi- 
dence. It may often be difficult to give the right 
interpretation to God's providences, both as re- 
vealed in history, and as they appear in passing 
events. In consequence of this difficulty, there 
would be danger of drawing general conclusions 
too hastily, and, of course, incorrectly. 

And yet Providence as developed by History 
and Biography, and as constantly passing before 



52 FAMILY TRAINING. 

us, are all volumes of the same book, as really 
designed by their Author for the study of the 
human family, as is the Inspired Word ; especially 
for those members, who are to shape the mind 
and character of others. 



VII. 

FEATURES IN THE DIVINE GOVERNMENT, WHICH ARE 
APPLICABLE TO FAMILY TRAINING. 

In the government of God, every creature and 
everything is placed under law. In accordance 
with this feature, the movement of the heavenly 
bodies constitutes the "music of the spheres." 
The growth and decay of animal and vegetable 
organizations, are alike under the control of law. 
And there is still clearer evidence that the human 
intellect and heart have not been overlooked in 
this general plan. Law is alike the parent and 
guardian of order. The great Author of perfec- 
tion in order, has extended law, in some form, 
over the minutest particles of matter. And the 



FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 53 

universal prevalence of this fact, under the direc- 
tion of the Supreme Ruler, is a significant index 
to all his human deputies in authority, whether 
raised aloft as the rulers of nations, or stationed 
at home as the guides of households. I do not 
sympathize in those views which regard law, in 
families, as not congenial to its highest welfare, 
but on the whole as rather a disturbing force. 

These views cannot be correct. For, if the 
Supreme cannot proceed as well without law as 
with it, finite and changeable man certainly can- 
not. To an imperfect ruler in any sphere, system 
is essential to prevent jarring irregularities, and 
secure a constancy in his own movements. The 
wisest and most prudent must adhere to general 
and established rules of action, to prevent often 
falling into the most hurtful inconsistencies. In- 
deed wisdom and prudence necessarily involve 
the idea of system and plan. But society also 
abounds in proof that a family which has no rule 
over it, " is like a city that is broken down and 
without walls." The question of pursuing rule, 
or next to no rule, is by no means the most diffi- 



54 FAMILY TRAINING. 

cult one for the parent to settle. But how mi- 
nute and how complicated may a good system 
be, under a given class of circumstances ? How 
much of this in detail, may be published to the 
household, and how much should be strictly re- 
served as the personal property of the parent? 
How far should the general principle which is to 
run through all without change, so as to sustain 
all our movements, in harmony, be evolved and 
spread out in specific items ? 

Too much harness encumbers the steed and 
reduces the power of his muscles. Too little 
does not sufficiently connect him with the weight 
to be put in motion. In either case, there is a 
loss of efficiency, either wholly or in part. In 
like manner, many parents are prone to be on the 
extreme right or the extreme left ; either to load 
the child down with specifications, when the 
elastic spirit becomes confused and restive under 
its burdens ; or to throw loose reins upon the 
neck of volatile habits, and unformed principles, 
and leave direction to almost any and every im- 
pulse which may act upon the character. With 



FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 55 

these dangers in the path of duty, the discretion 
of every parent will grow wiser by a careful 
study of God's government, in these same partic- 
ulars. 

If you examine the divine proceeding, you 
will find that his published laws are few, and 
general. He does not with his own ringer en- 
grave upon tables of stone every minute form 
and every specific application, and hang them up 
where every one who runs must read, whether he 
will or not. 

And yet he does ever give the general law, 
embracing the general principle that will apply to 
every particular belonging to the class. And this 
general law is so framed that the accountable 
subject can always ascertain the particular appli- 
cation, whenever he studies it with a proper de- 
sire to know. While the spirit of the general 
law extends much farther than, at first thought it 
appears to, yet so natural is the relation of the 
specific case to the general rule, that the moral 
agent who searches with a mind willing to obey, 
will in most cases readily trace the specific to the 



56 FAMILY TRAINING. 

general ; and under it, find the specific action or 
feeling enjoined or prohibited. The ten com- 
mandments afford the most perfect illustration of 
this plan in the government of God. They oc- 
cupy only a part of a single page of the Bible ; 
and yet they contain in summary, the whole 
duty of man. Now he who would conform his 
heart and life to the letter of the law, must study 
out the relations of his conduct to the law, by 
the various means which God has given him. 

While this necessity in parental government 
affords a wide scope for the study, the reflection, 
and moral decision of the child, thus placing 
along the path of his duty, the best source of 
moral and natural discipline, it enables the law- 
giver to take the negligent and careless violater at 
unawares, and so learn him to fear, or cause him 
unexpectedly to suffer what he was too negligent 
to foresee, and provide for; that he may grow 
wise by what he suffers, and dutiful by shunning 
the hard path of transgressors, and happy by re- 
vering the laws which are over him. 

And this plan, which is so instructive and cor- 



FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 57 

rective to the wayward, is the most interesting 
and gratifying to all the true lovers of obedience. 
To all such, every specific development opens in 
the direct line of their duty and their pleasure ; 
so that, as soon as they see what it is, they are 
conscious that it is just what they would have it. 
Each specific requisition, which they discover in 
the path of duty, becomes an additional guide 
for future practice. So where the heedless trans- 
gressor in the family, stumbles and falls over the 
less prominent barriers of law, where he rises and 
frets at mysteries and seeming contradictions in 
the rule which is over him, and all this only to 
be bruised and chafed again, by his next heed- 
less step, the filial and patient student of the 
same government finds in the new cases of spe- 
cific application, neither "pit falls" nor "sloughs 
of despond." He meets them as so many sweet 
fountains, by which his spirit is refreshed ; and the 
eyes of his understanding are enlightened to dis- 
cover new beauties and greater excellence in the 
path of obedience. 

Let us now apply this theology of the Bible 
5 



58 FAMILY TRAINING. 

more directly to the practice of the nursery and 
play-ground, in the routine of daily life ; and I 
must say that no part of my labor in the training 
of children, has afforded more pleasure, or more 
profit, than this study and this practice. 

We see in this marked feature of the divine 
plan, that we should also make the household 
rules which we publish for our children, general, 
rather than particular ; comprehensive, rather than 
specific. So far as the circumstances will allow, 
we must reserve the minute detail for them to 
study out. Indeed, this study is God's own pro- 
vision for the exercise of their moral powers and 
for the perfection of their common sense. 

While this course creates a distinct barrier, far 
this side of gross disobedience, it leaves the ordi- 
nary field of duty more open to the exercise of 
free and accountable agency, and calls, on the 
part of the child, for the constant exercise of 
common sense. It would be impossible to have 
specific rules for every act, even were it desirable, 
since nothing short of absolute foreknowledge 
would be adequate to this provision. And if the 



FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE, 59 

requisite knowledge were in the parent's possess- 
ion, its use in the manufacture of specific rules 
would be as undesirable as it is now impossible. 
The Creator has a foreknowledge which is abso- 
lute and perfect ; and yet the moral law which 
he has given, is summarily contained in compara- 
tively a few words. But the duties which these 
enjoin, are enough to occupy every moment of 
the longest life. 

No family government can serve its fullest use, 
when made so specific and individual, as to su- 
percede the study of principles and the exercise 
of a practical judgment, on the part of the child. 
The object of all family government should be ? 
to train the child in such a manner, that subset 
quently he will be able and disposed, to govern 
himself, according to the few great principles of 
the moral law ; and this object can never be ser 
cured unless the child is put upon a judicious, 
and yet, with certain limits, a free scope for the 
exercise of his own judgment. This process of 
self-training is to be under the careful supervision 
of the parent or teacher, who shall always be 



60 FAMILY TRAINING. 

ready to correct the erroneous conclusion, — al- 
ways ready to make straight the crooked path, 
and always patient in allowing, and even requir- 
ing the child to "try again," and " try again," 
until he has learned the true relation between the 
specific action and the general principle which 
involves it. 

Some readers of this sentiment may express 
surprise, that a child should be considered capable 
of referring specific conduct to general principles. 
But no reader who has carefully studied the phi- 
losophy of the human mind, or the developments 
of human practice as presented in a child, will 
experience this surprise. For all such know, 
that classification in some form, is one of the 
earliest exercises of the budding intellect. And 
though this exercise is commenced among materi- 
al objects, it is soon carried into the province of 
intellect and emotion. These embryo philoso- 
phers and moralists, are not skilled in the forms 
and technicalities of literature and science; but 
intentions and reasonings they have, which are 
far more comprehensive than many suppose, and 



FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 61 

conclusions they have too, which "hit the nail" 
more fairly than some others who have gone 
farther up into life. And the only way to edu- 
cate and strengthen this embryo power of refer- 
ring facts and feelings to general principles, is to 
give it constant exercise. This, as every other 
faculty, is to be ripened and perfected by having 
a full measure of its proper work to do; and 
every parent can furnish his children with an 
abundance of this work, and that too, which is 
of the most practical character, if he makes his 
household commandments few in number, gener- 
al and comprehensive ; and then trains his children 
to ascertain their specific duties from these few 
commands, by study, by observation, and experi- 
ence. I see most clearly, that this is the divine 
plan ; and the results of it when fairly tried and 
fully proved, are of a character the most salutary 
and gratifying. This course, judiciously, and 
perseveringly carried out, not only secures the 
best element in family training, but secures many 
other excellences for future use and advantage. 
Other things being equal, it does more to make a 



62 FAMILY TRAINING. 

whole man and a whole woman for posterity, 
than any other element of family training. And 
I believe that one reason why the ability to trace 
specific cases to general laws, appears, often less 
perfect in the young man, than in the child, is, 
that this faculty which God had given for a most 
important purpose, is not sufficiently brought into 
early exercise, and therefore, instead of growing, 
pines away in its strength, and loses power of 
discrimination. 

If the parent deals wholly or mainly, in specific 
items, whether of things required or prohibited, 
the child will have his best privilege taken away. 
He will not learn to trace the relation of parts to 
the whole, as almost every child is capable of 
doing. Through lack of proper stimulus, he will 
neglect to grow inwardly j and depending on the 
direction of others for individual acts, he becomes 
little more than a living machine, which certainly 
will not always work well, as it cannot always 
be looked after. But a worse result from this 
mode is, that it offers the child a constant temp- 
tation to evade the spirit of the command, while 



FEATURES WHICH ARE APPLICABLE. 63 

he seems to retain the letter. As a specific act 
only is forbidden, it is easy to find other things 
sufficiently like, which violate the spirit of re- 
quirement, and yet, at the same time keep the 
letter. To illustrate : — -a mother tells her boy 
not to go to the river, and, in order to have his 
own way, and mind his mother too, he goes to 
the brook, where he is equally exposed. Going 
to the brook is the next thing forbidden; and 
some frog-pond is soon found to answer all the 
purposes ; and so the reservoir and the pump must 
pass one by one under interdict, until the child 
has really disobeyed as many times as there are 
places and forms of water within his reach, and 
at last, justifies himself in each successive act. 
Every family and every school are more or less 
full of incidents illustrating the principle. In all 
these instances, a general direction can be easily 
given, which will cover all the cases; and the 
child who is required to refer them, each to its 
proper class, will have a most salutary exercise, 
both for his intellect and heart. It is on this 
principle, that the moral law says, " Thou shalt 



64 FAMILY TRAINING. 

not kill ;" and Christ tells us, that hatred is mur- 
der. The law says, "Thou shalt not commit 
adultery;" and from it, we are to understand that 
the lustful look is a violation. One command 
covers a broad field of duty. So God governs ; 
and it is evidently his will, that in this respect, 
parents should follow his example. 



VIII. 

MORE FEATURES IN THE DIVINE GOVERNMENT 
ILLUSTRATED. 

While the Creator has placed His subjects un- 
der laws which are general in their announcement, 
he requires strict obedience in the particulars. 
And this truth should be emphatic instruction to 
every parent who intends to train his family in the 
way they should go. No advance is made in fam- 
ily government, where implicit obedience is not 
secured in the smaller items. 

Again, it cannot have escaped the notice of the 
reflecting parent, that God often tests the obedience 



MORE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 65 

of his subjects by circumstances seemingly small. 
We have a striking illustration of this, in the in- 
junction laid upon our first parents. It was sim- 
ply prohibition from the fruit of one tree. And 
this was enough ; since adherence to this, involved 
the entire principle of obedience. If they could 
keep this seemingly little commandment, they 
could more easily keep what they would regard 
of greater importance. And so it is with children 
under the government of their natural parents. 
The most valuable tests of filial obedience consist 
in little things. r Acts of disobedience which are 
very obviously serious in their immediate conse- 
quences, carry, on their very face, some degree of 
security against commission. An act which will 
surely draw after it self-mortification, and proba- 
bly disgrace, will be shunned, not from the pure 
strength of virtuous principle, but from considera- 
tions of a policy wholly selfish and grovelljng.. 
But in little things, as they are called, it is differ- 
ent. Here the consequences appear so trivial, and 
the comparative wrong so light, that the child will 
proceed with the impression, that the act will not 



66 FAMILY TRAINING. 

be noticed. Hence, there is no certainty that the 
principle of obedience is established in any mind, 
until compliance is implicitly rendered in little 
things. When it is fairly secured here, it is sub- 
stantially gained for the whole field. Little things 
in a family, make up by far the greater sum of 
importance, and, therefore, it is of the first mo- 
ment that wholesome rule be not only extended 
to these ; it should commence and be especially 
thorough here. 

We notice again, that the sanctions of law in 
the government of God, are rewards and punish- 
ments. Not rewards merely, — not punishment 
alone, but rewards and punishments; and both 
these in a great variety of forms. And I do not hes- 
itate to say, that no family government can have 
much respect, or exhibit much efficiency for any 
length of time, without these. They should, of 
course, be in forms and degrees varying as widely 
as the circumstances which call for them. We 
know, indeed, that the Creator has made these, to 
a great extent, inseparably connected with obedi- 
ence and disobedience. So that the conduct, as a 



MORE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 67 

cause, will draw after it legitimate results ; and 
this marked feature in his great plan is a clear in- 
dex of the manner in which we, as parents, should 
proceed in the detail. Jehovah has declared, that 
in His government " The way of transgressors is 
hard ;" and both His wisdom and justice stand 
pledged to make it so. Also, "Say ye to the 
righteous, it shall be well with them ; for they 
shall eat the fruit of their doings." This grand 
principle running through the divine government 
should be copied by every parent, so far as his 
knowledge and ability will allow. And as the 
Creator has laid a foundation in human nature for 
the prosecution of this plan, the judicious father 
or mother may naturally and easily fall into it. 
But the adoption of a different system will, ordi- 
narily, be attended with difficulty and peril, both 
to the success of the parent and the welfare of 
the child. I am safe in saying, we can neither 
mend the divine mode nor improve upon it ; while 
in departing from it, we may wear ourselves out 
with trial, and, as the fruit of our toils, secure the 
perdition of our children. The watchful parent, 



68 FAMILY TRAINING. 

who has the skill arising from an ordinary amount 
of intelligence and common sense, may readily 
instruct the child to see and feel the connection 
between disobedience and a want of happiness. 

By patient instruction and a careful observation 
of the child's experience, he may so educate the 
conscience, that falsehood will be its own worst 
punishment ; and every form of disobedience may 
be more or less armed with an adaptation to self- 
infliction. Even where the moral sensibilities 
are so callous, that the parent must directly inter- 
pose with some form of punishment, to make the 
connection between disobedience and suffering 
more strongly felt, a link so essential in so impor- 
tant a chain of cause and consequence should not 
be withheld by father and mother. And ordina- 
rily, if this link of parental discipline is supplied 
seasonably and discreetly, the child may be led to 
feel that this agency of his parent, is by God's 
direction ; and that all he experiences, he receives 
as coming from God. When the parent can so 
stand in the line of God's direction, that his per- 
sonal discipline shall be regarded as only a part 



MORE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 69 

of the Heavenly Father's, then does that parent 
reveal the hiding of his power. Then does the 
child feel that he stands awfully near the great 
source of all authority. It is hy thus striking 
with the plan of Jehovah, and by proceeding ac- 
cording to the instructions of his Word, that our 
government becomes almost divine, in its influ- 
ence on the child. Let not punishment seem too 
harsh a term to stand in contrast, on this subject ; 
for God Himself has fixed the relation, and it 
does not become us to modify it. 

The special attention of the child should be 
early called to the unalterable connection between 
obedience and happiness. And where this rela- 
tion does not seem so clear to the youthful mind, 
the parent should make it more palpable by some 
judicious means of gratification from his own 
provision, accompanied with such instructions as 
may lead the pupil ultimately to feel, that doing 
right is its own reward. Every form of encour- 
agement to right doing should be directed to this 
result: — a result for which conscience and the 
Bible lay a broad foundation. 



70 FAMILY TRAINING. 

The sanctions of family government should 
not be so stereotyped in their dispensation, that the 
subject of them can distinctly foresee the precise 
time and the exact mode of them. This would 
be departing from God's plan, who has not made 
known to us the set times and the exact modes 
of his visitation. The general announcement 
shows that the connection between disobedience 
and misery is certain, while the detail of minis* 
tration is reserved in the treasury of Infinite Wis- 
dom, to be developed by Providence as that wis- 
dom shall direct. And what better can the pa- 
rent do in the use of rewards and punishments, 
than to follow the divine example? For then 
the coming consequence in some form will be so 
certain as to allow no hope of failure ; and yet 
not so definite, either as to time or mode, as to su- 
persede caution and watchfulness on the part of 
the offender. If there be such a sameness in the 
parent's treatment of wrong doing, that the child 
may always know the precise form and time of 
the adjustment, this knowledge, instead of restrain- 
ing, will most certainly harden ; and, instead of 



MOKE FEATURES APPLICABLE. 71 

caution to avoid the fault, will inspire hardiness 
to brave the consequences. But the opposite 
course is too indefinite to allow the youthful spir- 
it to arrange a preconcerted resistance, and yet too 
certain as a final result, to allow any feeling of 
safety while the fault remains unconfessed and 
unforgiven. A frequent issue of this treatment 
will be a frequent voluntary disclosure of wrong, 
and sincere acknowledgements on the part of the 
child, even before the parent is aware of the de- 
linquency. In this way, often, the misconduct 
will so grate upon the sensibilities, that the suf- 
ferer will find no relief, and seek for none, except 
in a frank disclosure, and a free forgiveness. And 
the happiness which he feels in having been the 
voluntary agent in his restoration to parental favor, 
will be the highest security against the commis- 
sion of similar offences in future. Do not meas- 
ure your discipline mathematically, nor publish it 
beforehand with such minuteness that your chil- 
dren can count the periods from the Almanac ; 
lest, if you do not destroy all moral sense, you do 
at least transform a nicely susceptible nature to a 



72 FAMILY TRAINING. 

living machine, which will work little good ex- 
cept as coerced by another.. And, in the use of 
rewards, do not make the bestowment until duty, 
heartily performed, has rendered it safe and con- 
sistent. Do not rule the little fellow with a roll 
of candy, putting this sceptre into his hands as a 
magic wand to help him through with your com- 
mandment. Learn him heartily to trust your 
good, though sovereign pleasure, even after his 
filial conduct has fully traced the line of duty j 
and then be sure you so meet his expectations, as 
not to flatter his vanity, but strengthen his virtues. 



IX. 

PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 

He who would advance rapidly in the business 
of Family Training, must "make haste slowly." 
The work requires more than the few moments 
of time, afforded at the intervals of secular em- 
ployment. As we often say in regard to other 



PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 73 

things, whole, or unbroken time, must not be 
considered too precious for this duty ; and I may- 
add, we should ever be ready to devote any 
amount of time which the circumstances of the 
case require. 

In a previous number, I endeavored to show that 
a family could not be properly conducted, under 
the impulses of passion; and I now affirm as 
strongly, that it cannot be done by odd moments. 
The actual failures which occur in this work, 
through haste, are both many and sad. Many 
commence too hastily, and spend themselves be- 
fore the work is fairly begun. Others commence 
with moderation, and leave off quite too soon, 
because portions of the duty are found to be un- 
pleasant. 

You need often give yourself time to consid- 
er; for while the leading characteristics of the 
child may not essentially vary hi successive peri- 
ods, yet the time, the place and the circumstances 
of the conduct are ever varying ; and this fact is 
worthy your constant attention. The child's 
physical condition, of strength or weakness, of 
6 



74 FAMILY TRAINING. 

nervous irritation or uniform calmness, may have 
much to do with the shades of his conduct. 
And while a fixed plate of stereotype may be a 
good adjustment for printing standard books, this 
is the last form which is likely to succeed in im- 
pressing good character upon the minds and hearts 
of children. While the general treatment should 
be uniform, it must vary in particular modes and 
shades, to meet the ever-varying phases of suc- 
cessive occasions ; and we must take the requisite 
time to consider what our movements should be, 
and how we may direct them with the clearest 
prospect of success. 

The child also often needs time to consider 
both his relations to his parents and to God. 
Not that every case should be brought formally 
into the court of the child's conscience. For 
this monitor, often too inactive, will, sometimes, 
be dull to pronounce decision against self; and 
especially slow to publish that decision by a hear- 
ty acknowledgement. Nor is the child to discuss 
the merits of every yes or no of the parent, be- 
fore compliance ; but one thing you may con in 



PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 75 

your note book and wait to see it verified. Ex- 
cept in extraordinary cases, which, from their 
very nature, require despatch, and such cases will 
fall to the lot of almost every parent, excepting 
these, you will never gain in time nor execution, 
by pressing difficult cases much in advance of 
the admissions of conscience. You may seem to 
force on the will ; but if you have not the hearty 
approval of conscience to follow up and bind 
your work as you advance, if you have not the 
child's consent to block the wheel at the intervals 
of rest, in the progress, the movement will pro- 
gress heavily; and whatever is gained in the 
effort, will be liable to fly back so soon as the 
pressure motive is taken off. You may secure a 
promise ; but unless it is based upon some good 
measure of conviction, it will secure no advance 
in the character. In all such cases., to make haste 
slowly, is the proper course. The law of inertia, 
which holds true in matter, universally obtains, 
to some extent, in mind ; and hence whoever un- 
dertakes to move by sudden impulses in difficult 
cases, will, almost invariably, meet with the law 



76 FAMILY TRAINING. 

of repulsion. When you make a sudden onset 
upon the will, where there is a strongly obstinate 
tendency, if action and re-action do not become 
equal, leaving the object without any advance, 
progress will, at least, be much more tardy than 
it would have been, had a little more time been 
allowed for yielding. I am not now speaking of 
the ordinary commands of the parent; for the 
child should be so trained from the first, that no 
hesitation could ordinarily be anticipated. Prompt, 
implicit obedience should ever be the prevailing 
law, as I shall endeavor to show in a subsequent 
number. And yet there will be instances in al- 
most every family, where achievement does not 
depend upon, either exhortation or command. 
The mind of the child is sometimes, and from 
some cause, under such a degree of excitement, 
that the best, if not the only successful work, is 
to reduce it to tranquillity. And if at the same 
time the parent feels conscious of any undue 
excitement, he should certainly wait, if the emer- 
gency will allow, until perfect self-possession re- 
turns. There are instances, as I have intima- 



PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 77 

ted, where there may be a degree of persistence 
in a course of disobedience, such that coercion in 
some way is the only practical consideration. 
The child must be restrained before reflection can 
have the least exercise, while yet the course of 
things is rapidly working towards the most seri- 
ous results. These cases may be rare in small 
families, but the writer has seen them sufficiently 
often to know their nature and their tendency. 
In these instances, procrastination is more than 
the "thief of time." The child may persist in 
the presence of other children, where his persis- 
tence, if allowed, will undo, by example, what 
many efforts will not repair. But these are ex- 
treme cases, and, in well regulated families, do 
not often occur ; and where they do not, it is 
better to wait until calm reflection has had time 
both to shape the purposes of the parent, and cor- 
rect the views and quell the emotions of the child. 
It is often well, merely to call attention to a 
subject which needs treatment, and then remit it 
for future consideration, and proceed with ordina- 
ry duties, as though nothing had occurred. In 



78 FAMILY TRAINING. 

most cases, where the child is susceptible of re- 
flection, nothing more will be needed. The de- 
linquent will often come voluntarily and confess 
his fault, when, if the case were pressed at the 
moment, it would provoke resistance, secret if not 
open, and defeat a satisfactory result. But the 
future consideration to which the child is referred, 
should never be allowed to pass finally unnoticed. 
A future consideration may be referred to a spe- 
cific time, but usually it will be better to leave it 
to the future indefinite. This impression is the 
result of observation. Indefinite time may al- 
ways be nearer, and, with the certainty that it 
will come soon, its consequences, as more imme- 
diately pending, will more strongly impress the 
attention. 

The importance of making haste slowly, will 
be farther seen from the fact that thoughtless- 
ness, under the impulses of youthful ardor, is 
one prolific source of wrong doing ; and an op- 
portunity for reflection, with the certain prospect 
that the subject will be called up in due time for 
thorough adjustment, will often move the child 



PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 79 

to accomplish the work more effectually than the 
parent could, under any other circumstances. It 
may sometimes be well to let a subject, which 
needs attention, pass without even noticing it at 
the time, provided the delay be not attended with 
bad influences upon other members of the family. 
This course is especially attended with good re- 
sults when the child is confidently anticipating an 
immediate correction, and is nerving his purposes 
for corresponding resistance. Let it pass until he 
supposes you do not intend to notice it, and when 
he has least reason to anticipate, call attention to 
the circumstance, calmly but fully ; and often a 
few words taken entirely at unawares, will effect 
all that is desirable. Bat a more especial result is 
this, — it leads the offender to feel there is no 
safety but in doing right. The child is impressed 
with a sense of searching scrutiny in the parent. 
It also leaves full play for the workings of con- 
science, under a sense of wrong doing. 

In this mode of treatment, justice does not 
tread directly upon the heels of transgression; 
but the certainty that it will come, becomes a sort 



80 FAMILY TRAINING. 

of omnipresence, which allows of no relief until 
the wrong is acknowledged. By such a course 
you will often find your child anticipating you, 
and sometimes will even surprise you, by an ac- 
knowledgment of faults of which you were en- 
tirely ignorant. The practice of constantly mak- 
ing a full adjustment of every delinquence, the 
moment it transpires, begets in the child the habit 
of constantly calling up the amount of resistance 
requisite to meet the case. Nay ; he learns natur- 
ally to count the cost while premeditating the act. 
And as your stereotype course gives the requisite 
data, the child soon learns to provide himself with 
the requisite amount of bravery to meet your 
treatment, and thus prevent it from working any 
good result. For in this way, often, discipline 
becomes disarmed and powerless. A child may 
be easily trained to prefer a set punishment, that 
he may not have the trouble to think of his fault, 
and be dismissed with clear papers, to make ready 
for the next opportunity to transgress. And this 
preference is one reason why the child should so 
often be disappointed, that he can form no certain 



PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 81 

rule as to the time and manner of meeting his 
faults. "Come, mother, whip me and put me to 
bed," was the cool request of a little boy, whose 
excellent parent was so scrupulous to have every- 
thing that had been wrong during the day fully 
adjusted at night, that the little fellow as much 
expected a dressing down with the rod, as to be 
dressed up in his night-gown j that is, if conscious 
that he had done any wrong thing during the day. 
And, as a matter of course, he had come to receive 
one kind of dressing as indifferently as the other. 
In a word, whenever discipline comes to be 
worked in a " strait jacket," it defeats its own end. 

These suggestions, I consider as in accordance 
with the plan of God's government in this respect ; 
under which there is no security any where, either 
now or hereafter, except in obedience. And if 
your children are like mine, you will find that 
the plan works well. 

It may be you will sometimes feel, as many 
have said, that you have neither time nor patience 
to go into all these things. I know it is often con- 
sidered impracticable to protract a single case into 



82 FAMILY TRAINING. 

a day, or even a few hours ; and the idea of a sys- 
tem of movements which shall embrace, as parts 
of a whole, a longer period, is quite intolerable to 
not a few. Be it so, then ; you can certainly 
choose for yourself, and practice at your pleasure ; 
but after practice you cannot interchange results, 
even should you desire. Whatever you will sow, 
you must reap, whether you will or not; and 
your children must eat of the same, though it be 
to your present mortification, and their future sor- 
sow. 

I know there is reason to fear, that some, if 
they should adjourn a case over night, would be 
very sure never to resume it again ; and the child 
might safely predict that any such suspension 
would amount to indefinite postponement. Such, 
according to the old proverb, must " strike while 
the iron is hot," or never. But the most favora- 
ble time to shape this kind of metal is, when both 
it and the agent who shapes, are especially cool. 
Some have been heard to say, in self compliment, 
that they could never keep angry over night ; 
this, if it means any thing, doubtless implies a 



PROPER TRAINING REQUIRES TIME. 83 

good quality. But when the head of a family 
cannot renew a process of needful discipline, af- 
ter a visitation from "nature's sweet restorer," 
there is reason to fear they were moved to com- 
mence at first, only by feelings improperly exci- 
ted ; and if so, the sooner they sleep the better, 
both for them and for the children. The most 
important work for which you have been consti- 
tuted parents, is to train your children in the way 
they should go. And surely that which is great- 
est and most important, should, when its success 
requires, lay the greatest tax upon your attention 
and time. In this work we shall show the great- 
est economy, if, in doing each piece of work, we 
take time enough to do it well. 



84 FAMILY TRAINING. 

X. 

TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT HURTFUL. 

We cannot be too deeply impressed with the 
importance of sufficient time, and a due consider- 
ation, for training promptly and thoroughly ; and 
yet there may be danger that some will have too 
much government, or that others, who really have 
too little, will make too much show of what they 
have. Government, as well in the family as in 
the State, may be so cumbrous as to break itself 
down and substantially defeat its own ends. The 
more simple family government is, the better, pro- 
vided it possesses the requisite efficiency. In all 
movements, simplicity reduces friction, and dimin- 
ishes the number and amount of things to be 
kept in order : so that, other things being equal, 
there is more force remaining for direct accom- 
plishment \ and there are fewer delays from de- 
rangement. 

We have been in some families, where the 
fruits of good government, were only as a few 
shrivelled specimens on the topmost branches, 



TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT HURTFUL. 85 

hardly discernible j and yet we were made pain- 
fully sensible of machinery sufficient, so far as it 
related to quantity, to carry forward anything. 
Indeed there was any amount of movement, but 
no progress ; action enough, but no achievement. 
The excess of noise, and much ado about little or 
nothing, confounds the whole into a congeries of 
indiscriminate jargon. The counteraction arising 
from the ill adjustment of the parts, makes little 
more than a neutrality of the whole. Too much 
of a good thing is good for nothing ; and a fami- 
ly literally loaded down with an ostentatious and 
wordy government, is a doleful illustration of this 
truth. Now, rule in a family should not appear 
like the huge beams, posts and joists, standing out 
in the rooms of the houses which our forefathers 
tenanted ; but like the more finished style of the 
moderns, those massive elements which secure 
strength and permanence, should be covered up 
by an exterior which is comely and agreeable. 
The well-constructed edifice, which only shows 
its paint and varnish to the eye of the passer-by, 
shows also the hiding of its strength, when it 



86 FAMILY TRAINING. 

stands erect, and as immovable before the blast, as 
though nothing moved around it. So the bone 
and musele of family government should lie con- 
cealed under the mild and agreeable exterior of 
parental character, and only show itself by what 
it can do, and do easily, when really called for. 
The child should never be allowed to learn the 
fullest strength of the government, only when he 
makes the most obstinate trial of it. So the per- 
fection of this art is, to have it so simple and com- 
plete that its existence shall hardly be apparent. 

Again, when a flourish of government must en- 
velop every movement of the child, however 
trivial or plain, there is no privilege left him, to 
exercise self-control and self-guidance. If all the 
paths and by-paths which he is to take are pre- 
cisely marked, if every angle he is to turn, has a 
given number of degrees, which he must be sure 
and observe, under the sanction of pains and pen- 
alties, he will be directed out of all self-respect 
and flat down into an instrument which only 
works as it is worked by another ; or he will be- 
come nervous and strongly tempted to disobey 



TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT HURTFUL. 87 

from the mere excess of orders given. " O dear ; 
I wish mother would not tell me so much, just as 
though I did'nt know anything," said a bright 
and noble little fellow, when he had been charged 
with more specific directions, than a lawyer could 
remember, and then charged again not to forget 
one of them. The child only needed to be point- 
ed in the right direction, and his own judgment 
would have filled out the particulars on the spot, 
and that to much better advantage, than the pa- 
rent could foresee. 

Every child has an inward law which is to be 
developed and perfected, so at length he may be- 
come a law unto himself. But wherever this in- 
ward law is buried up, and, as it were, blocked in 
by an excess of outward commandments, he will 
always be a child on some important points, be- 
cause the man can never find a place to get out of 
him, and have an opportunity to show his real 
self. The object of every command should be to 
draw out the embryo man, which is lodged in 
every boy, and develop him in such proportions 
that he shall, when set to go entirely alone, be 



88 FAMILY TRAINING. 

Strong for duty and efficient in usefulness. Eve- 
ry parent should have a system of government 
whose nature and operations he understands. 
There should be an unyielding purpose to apply 
that system in developing the character of the 
child ; and yet it is not ordinarily wise to make 
this pictorially larger than life, in the view of 
the children. Too great a show of apparatus and 
too much noise in working it, will invariably re- 
tard the progress of salutary training. 

It will often require so much power to work 
the machine, that small force will remain to press 
on the character. Dr. Bellamy said, when he was 
young, he thought it was the thunder that killed 
people ; but as he advanced in life, he found it 
was the lightning; and therefore came to dread 
the thunder less and fear the lightning more. 
This is natural ; and if some excellent parents, of 
a verbose but hollow government, would take a 
hint from this, and add a higher degree of silent 
efficiency to a less amount of display, they would 
doubtless be cheered by advancing success in their 
appropriate work. 



YES OR NO. 89 

XL 

YES OR NO. 

Those parents who have fully learned the dif- 
ference between yes and no in their relations to 
family government, surely have reached one im- 
portant attainment ; for much depends on the man- 
ner they pronounce these monosyllables, — wheth- 
er cheerfully or reluctantly, whether emphatically 
or with a faltering tongue. If almost every re- 
ply to the child's request is partly yes and partly 
no, the young inquirer will understand that you 
are undecided ; and that he can have his own way 
by a little importunity. But this, ordinarily, is 
poor management. The word of the parent should 
be law to the child. So the Bible teaches ; and 
so observation confirms. Nor must your words of 
law so bear upon your child's wishes, as to allow 
of alteration or amendment, whenever the gratify 
cation of those wishes shall seem to require it. I 
do not say that you shall never reverse a decision: 
.- — since you are bound to do this, whenever ad^- 
foerence will lead you to an act .of injustice, or to 
7 



90 FAMILY TRAINING. 

any injurious result. But a decision should nev- 
er be reversed, merely because the child desires it. 
The substantial reasons for the change should be 
independent of this. If your yes and no are al- 
ways prompt and hearty, if one is pronounced 
with as much good will as the other, the child 
will soon come to be nearly, if not fully as well 
satisfied with the one as the other. But if your 
decisions are so made as to encourage importunity, 
you will get little credit even for your best inten- 
tions. When you allow yourself to be teased in- 
to an affirmative, the petitioner will thank, not 
you, but his own skill as an advocate. If, after 
all, you deny him, your indecision will, ordinari- 
ly, prevent a filial submission on his part. Teas- 
ing, therefore, should never be allowed. 

Nor is it, ordinarily, safe to give the reason of 
the denial at the time. When the prompt and 
significant rejoinder is, " why not sir?" the pru- 
dent father will say, because i" do not think it best; 
and this should put an end to controversy. For 
you will notice that the child does not ask, that 
he may be satisfied with a reason. He asks, that 



YES OR NO. 91 

he may refute with better reasons to the contrary. 
You may, and ought, occasionally, to give the 
reasons subsequently, especially if the child be in 
a proper mental state to appreciate them, and also 
occasionally at the time, if sure that they are re- 
quired from proper motives. If you give them 
under proper circumstances, the child will see that 
you have reasons even when you do not give 
them. And this will incline him to submit cheer- 
fully in future without reasons. 

Rarely lay yourself under specific obligation to 
your children, by an absolute promise which is to 
be redeemed unconditionally. If you do, you 
will often find yourself between the horns of a 
dire dilemna; and escape you cannot, without a 
grazing either from one side or the other. For 
you will sometimes find it needful to break your 
promise, on the principle that a "bad promise is 
better broken than kept;" and so you will un- 
dermine the confidence which your children ought 
to repose in you. If it will be better to fulfill, 
the fulfillment may encourage a license which 
will make your family like a "city that is broken 



92 FAMILY TRAINING. 

down, without walls." Now just withhold your 
specific promise ; and, at most, make it condition- 
al, as God does His ; and proceed on the general 
principle, that obedience and fidelity are to be re- 
warded in some way, if they be not their own 
reward. Teach your children to confide in your 
goodness to do what is suitable, so that they will 
have a cheerful satisfaction, in feeling that it is 
sufficient that father and mother know how the 
case is to issue, and you will be relieved from 
many harrassing reflections, and secure to your 
family an unfailing source of enjoyment. This 
reserved privilege of bestowing at discretion, is 
often the secret of parental power. It often ena- 
bles one to surprise the child with unexpected fa- 
vors, causing an overflow of gratitude, which 
gratitude does more than anything beside, to 
strengthen the filial relation. But that must ever 
be an uncomfortable child, who is so managed, as 
to keep his parent under an acknowledged obliga- 
tion to him. 

Those parents who train their children to a 
habit of prompt and cheerful obedience, are doing 



YES OR NO. 93 

much for the salvation of their offspring ; and 
through them, very much, prospectively, for the 
kingdom of Christ. Filial submission is almost 
an essential stepping stone toward that higher sub- 
mission to God, as enjoined in the Gospel. When 
you see a yomig man, or young woman, who wan- 
tonly repudiates parental authority, he is pretty 
sure to say also, in his practice, " There is no 
God." 

The inculcation of obedience is essential to se- 
cure the respect of the child. Though many pa- 
rents take the opposite course to secure this ob- 
ject, yet in nothing can they be more certain of 
defeat. It is the child left to himself, that despi- 
ses his mother, and those only who are corrected 
betimes, give them true pleasure. 

The prosperity of the State owes more to 
wholesome family training, than to almost any 
other source. Come, father and mother, let us 
double our diligence and lengthen our persever- 
ance in this good work. The nation needs our 
humble efforts, to secure subordination to its 
wholesome laws. The ways of Zion mourn, be- 



94 FAMILY TEAINING. 

cause so few of our sons are growing up in their 
youth, as plants of renown ; and because, in the 
family circle, no more of our daughters become 
as polished stones, polished after the similitude of 
a palace. 



XII. 

PERIOD OF TRAINING. 

The period of infancy, embraces the first six 
or seven years of the child's life. And I know 
there are those, who think that parents have little 
to do for their offspring during this period, except 
to feed, to clothe and protect them from physical 
harm. These are often regarded as of too young 
and tender an age, to come under any system of 
regimen. Should they form some bad habits 
during this season, it is argued that they will 
readily cast them off again, so soon as they be- 
come old enough to see their evil tendency. But 
whoever imbibes these views and shapes his prac- 
tice accordingly, will sooner or later reap disap- 



PERIOD OF TRAINING. 95 

pointment, if not sorrow, as the legitimate fruit 
of false views, and a bad practice. For the ear- 
liest years of a child's life, are evidently by far 
the most susceptible. He doubtless receives more 
new things, and fixes more new ideas during the 
first seven years, than in the eight years which 
next succeed. This rapid influx of new thoughts, 
and new impressions, accounts for the great in- 
quisitiveness during this period. Every observ- 
ing child asks more questions between the ages 
of three and eight years, than during any other 
three of his life. And you will have noticed that 
these questions are not merely for idle talk. They 
are usually the language of earnest simplicity. 
They result from a simple desire to know ; and 
the inquiry is not merely after facts, but after 
principles and modes of action. How important 
therefore, since the child commences in the cra- 
dle to build his own character, and store it with 
furniture, how important, that the responsible 
work of superintendence and direction should 
commence there also. 

I do not believe that we have a blank placed 



96 FAMILY TRAINING. 

in our hands, at the birth of a child; — a blank 
which We may fill out at such discretion, that we 
need not commence writing, till the seventh or 
eighth page is turned. For I have no evidence, 
either from Scripture or observation, that God ever 
sent such a blank to us, in the form of a human 
being. I would rather follow the analogies of 
nature, and the teachings of truth, and select the 
figure of a living germ, infolding all the rudiments 
of future being ; and while these press outward 
and upward towards maturity, by the internal 
force of intellect and heart, the parent, like the 
skillful gardener, as "a workman that needethnot 
to be ashamed," is set to train the rising plant of 
beauty, of excellence and renown. But the wise 
and successful gardener is at his appointed work, 
so soon as the germ appears upon the bosom of its 
mother earth. To watch, to weed and water, is 
his appropriate work ; and he knows right well, 
that the earlier he commences in the season, the 
more successful will be his summer toil — the rich- 
er and more perfect the fruits of autumn. So 
will it be in that richer garden of olive-plants, in 



PERIOD OF TRAINING. 97 

your own loved home, and around your own ta- 
ble ; — those who are to be reared for the vineyard 
of the Lord, and the field of usefulness, which is 
the world. 

Every wise gardener acts on the principle of 
prevention. The noxious weeds, whose seeds 
and germs are in the soil ready to spring up eve- 
ry where, must not be allowed to strike and spread 
their roots. Much less must their ascending stalks 
be suffered to mature, until the ripened seed shall 
begin to fall from them. So neither should the 
germs of inordinate desire, and evil habit, which 
are native to the human heart, be allowed to root 
and spread. And yet they will certainly do this, 
unless they receive the early and assiduous atten- 
tion of the parent. Only neglect this watchful- 
ness and care to keep down the spontaneous ten- 
dencies of the heart to evil, and you may be sure 
the virtues and the graces will not assume that 
prominence, which must shape a truly desirable 
character. Good principles and virtuous habits 
early established, will be the strongest safeguard 
against temptation, and the best help to success in 
every good enterprise. 



98 FAMILY TRAINING. 

Again; you will have gained immensely for 
the child, if you can do up the more serious work 
of discipline so early, that the facts of it will be 
buried in oblivion, while the salutary results of it 
enter into the foundation of a noble character. 
That child who is yielding all the fruits of filial 
obedience, while he does not remember any of 
the mortifying struggles against the submission 
which has led to it, has, so far, a happy outset of 
existence. 

I know you will often hear it said by very re- 
spectable people, that there is no use in taking 
great pains to correct the wrong bias and the early 
faults of a child. " Let the little fellow have his 
own way now, since he enjoys it. He will cor- 
rect himself when his reason is sufficiently mature 
to rule." And so perhaps he might, to some ex- 
tent, were it not for the cardinal fact, that habit, 
if first allowed to grow, almost invariably be- 
comes stronger than reason ; so that when reason 
would take the throne and rule over the man, as 
lawful heir, it finds a usurper in the form of con- 
firmed evil habit ; and so fairly seated, that there 



PERIOD OP TRAINING. 99 

is little hope that any other will obtain rule over 
the spirit. Good early habits seem to stand in the 
place of regents substituted during the time being, 
for the protection of the mind during its minority. 
And these early habits duly fastened and matured, 
instead of claiming unlawful dominion, and in- 
stead of causing the heart to become like a city 
that is broken down, will become the true allies 
and strongest prime ministers of reason. They 
will compose, as it were, the body-guard of prin- 
ciple and practice. But a child left, at this early 
period, to form such habits and to indulge in such 
practices as his impulses will dictate, will bring 
his father more or less of shame, and often be a 
grief to her that bore him. 

The influence of an unpropitious spring-time 
prevents the growth of summer, and sends down 
to the autumn of age, the withered fruit of a bad- 
ly managed life. If reason and conscience in the 
man, do get somewhat the control of habits formed 
in childhood, it often takes the last half of life to 
undo the follies of the first half; so that when 
the man gets ready to live, it is time to die. How 



100 FAMILY TRAINING. 

many a noble ship have we seen plowing the 
ocean of life, stern foremost, pushing and butting 
against the billows of adverse circumstances, at 
the greatest disadvantage, and all this because she 
was not trimmed and manned with good habits 
and good principles at the outset of her voyage. 

Whoever would, therefore, in subsequent life, 
reap the fruits of early parental hope, must com- 
mence the work of training at the beginning of 
life. Secure obedience so early that the child 
will not remember when the struggles against sub- 
mission ceased. Let good habits be established 
so early that their fruits will seem the natural 
product of the child's being. You will have the 
native bias of your offspring to oppose your ef- 
forts ; you may have your own imperfections to 
retard your progress ; but persevere, relying on 
the aid promised from above, and though you may 
not secure all you desire, you will hardly fail of a 
good measure of success. But, connected with 
this subject, there is another evil which I have 
seen under the sun ; and often it greatly endan- 
gers the ultimate success of parental efforts. 



PERIOD OF TRAINING. 101 

The period of training in many instances, ter- 
minates too early ; so that where there is a good 
beginning, there is often a bad end, because the 
work is left unfinished. The whole is essential- 
ly weakened or entirely lost for want of comple- 
tion. In these days, many children seem to leap 
the age of youth, and from being little children, 
become at once men and women, at least in their 
own estimation; and too often also in the treat- 
ment of their parents. In these cases too, the 
child becomes the " father of the man " in a dif- 
ferent sense from what the poet intended j since 
the parents, instead of being the directors, sub- 
mit to the dictation of their children. I have 
heard more than one father suggest, in relation to 
sons twelve or fourteen years of age, that it is dif- 
ficult to tell which is the nearest right, the parent 
or the child, in their views of conduct at that ear- 
ly period. Verily, such things ought not to be. 
Parents should be able to decide for all children 
at this age. Bat where they must discuss every 
subject with the children, to obtain the requisite 
light to act, in far the larger number of instances 



102 FAMILY TRAINING 

the little folks will prove the better advocates, and, 
right or wrong, get the case decided in their favor. 
The whole period of minority is the proper peri- 
od for parental direction. So says the civil law, 
and it does not secure the agency of children as 
responsible in matters of finance until their age 
has exceeded this limit. And surely, the forma- 
tion of character is not a subject of less impor- 
tance than the transaction of secular business. 
More things should be left discretionary, as the 
child advances. In later years, the previous la- 
bors need consolidation. The parts must knit 
and grow with each other, until there shall be a 
permanent symmetry. And during this process, 
the character, however excellent in its outlines, 
often needs touching in different parts, and should 
be under the direction of those who are qualified 
to finish, as well as to commence the work. 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 103 



XIII. 

PHYSICAL TRAINING. 



Every child has a body, which, though it be the 
rough outer coating of the whole person, is yet 
most intimately connected with the delicate and 
indwelling spirit. The body is the house of the 
soul, fearfully and wonderfully made. To neg- 
lect the body, is to abuse the soul which tenants 
it. For the illustrious occupant is worthy of a 
good house, and the Master Builder is not pleased 
that we should neglect his own handiwork. The 
human body is a system of organs, serving the 
highest use of any material thing which God has 
made, and for this reason, it should have the most 
care. It also has a direct influence upon the mind 
in many ways ; so that, other things being equal, 
the inner man will flourish, much as the outer is 
taken care of. The body is to transmit health or 
disease to future generations. The imbecility or 
strength of those who are to live after both us 
and our children, will depend in no small degree, 



104 FAMILY TRAINING. 

upon the manner in which we conduct this part 
of family training. And, as the physical must 
ever modify the metaphysical of human being, 
we are at work also for the future minds of the 
world, while taking care of the present bodies. 

With such facts in view, most evidently, duty 
must supersede inclination, in this work; and ev- 
ery parent who would faithfully address himself 
to the physical training of his family, must not 
only make up his mind to the theory of the busi- 
ness, he must also move the powers of his body, 
.to work these theories out into practice. For, it 
may be truly said in this department of human 
duty, that while the spirit is willing, the flesh is 
often emphatically weak. Duty must also super- 
sede fashion. For while the fashions of this 
world pass rapidly away, the effects of our physi- 
cal training, good or bad, abide often, not only 
through our own lives, but from generation to gen- 
eration after. A sense of duty should overcome 
the fear and opinion of society, wherever that 
opinion is false. Physicians, as the physical doc- 
tors of the land, ought, emphatically, to be phys-* 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 105 

leal teachers on this subject ; declaring the whole 
truth and nothing but the truth, whether men and 
women will hear, or forbear to hear. If a D. D. 
who suppresses and tempers the truth to suit the 
fastidious ears of his audience, is unworthy of his 
office, why should an M. D., be considered a faith- 
ful servant if he withholds truth which might 
have prevented what he is called upon to cure ? 

As every child has a body, so every body needs 
support. Nature teaches that the food, especially 
of children, should be simple and nutritious, but 
not exciting. Condiments in the youthful system, 
not merely perform a work of supererogation, they 
are the bane of health. Most children are native- 
ly supplied with sufficient pepper and ginger. 
Ordinarily, their animal natures need no other 
stimulants than what belong to them. If to these 
you add artificial, you are in danger of getting up 
more sail than ballast, and if you do not upset the 
system, you fit it to become the wreck of subse- 
quent disease. 

Children require a larger amount of wholesome 
food than many suppose, because they are to sup- 
8 



106 FAMILY TRAINING. 

ply both for waste and growth. And, judging 
from the amount of exercise they are naturally 
inclined to take, the waste cannot be small. 

I need not say that the times of taking food 
should be regular. Hardly anything is more prej- 
udicial to the health of children, than irregular 
and promiscuous eating. When the raw material 
is pitched into the stomach oftener, or in larger 
quantities than the organs of digestion can dis- 
pose of, the nerves and blood-vessels immediately 
report the abuse to the brain ; and there result, 
both derangement of body and confusion of mind. 
Many children are strongly inclined to neglect 
the wise provision which the Creator has made 
for the mastication of food ; and instead of a mill, 
or at least cracking machine, use the mouth only 
as the hopper of the stomach ; and when this is 
filled almost to suffocation, instead of allowing 
the saliva to mingle with the mass, — nature's pro- 
vision to aid deglutition and promote digestion, — a 
flood of water is forced in to float the whole down 
the sesophagus in the most summary manner. 
The stomach justly recoils at the ungracious task 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 107 

of grinding up and diluting such huge morsels, 
and calls on the brain for sympathy. Now the 
child does not look well, and must take some 
" belladonna," or other good medicine, to cure a 
sleepy head-ache. 

The almost unremitted sucking of confectione- 
ry is a practice so injurious both to the health of 
the body and elasticity of the mind, that it need 
only be mentioned to have its influence avoided. 

Every child has a body which needs to be clad. 
This involves several particulars which I can bare- 
ly touch upon. The person of a child is to be 
kept warm at one time and cool at another. It is 
a growing and forming body which you clothe, 
and physical nature here, as human nature else- 
where, is very desirous of having her own way. 
If you cut the jacket too strait, or draw the lac- 
ings too tight, upon the expanding form, nature 
will be avenged for your unlawful interference.. 
Boys stand in less danger from .this source than 
girls. But caution is needful in regard to both. 
That young man cannot go lame, because he is 
crippled in both feet, and this makes them "equal." 



108 FAMILY TRAINING. 

He wanted very tight fits in shoes and boots, be- 
cause they look so sleek and pretty ; and now, if 
he walk a mile or two he must stop by the road- 
side and pare down the little horny protuberances 
upon his locomotives, in order to proceed with 
any comfort. 

Mother, who was that 7iaked woman, once said 
our little son, not five years old, on returning from 
a wedding where a " would be " lady of fashion 
had offended his simple, unsophisticated taste, 
with her bare arms, bare chest, bare shoulders, to 
go no farther with the truth. This was the se- 
verest criticism I ever heard upon this extreme of 
dress ; and the stricture was all the more severe, 
because it was really one which the Creator him- 
self made through those unvitiated instincts which 
he had created for a sure guide in taste. So much 
for the appearance. But what can we say of such 
a dress as protection against the chill damps of 
evening, or any of the rigors of a New England 
climate ? We laugh at the little feet of the Chi- 
na women, as ridiculous ; and they truly are so. 
But with their roomy and comfortable dressing in 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 109 

other respects, they have a right to cast the ridi- 
cule back in our teeth, for compressing other and 
more vital portions of the youthful form. 



XIV. 

PHYSICAL TRAINING. 

Every child has a body which needs fresh air. 
The subject of ventilation has, for some years 
past, received much more attention than formerly. 
Our public school edifices, in country as well as 
town, are becoming more spacious and princely. 
As the little, low, square knowledge-boxes have, 
like the generation who built them, been vanish- 
ing away, the hand of improved science has sup- 
plied the new with a better architecture ; insert- 
ing many articles for convenience, for comfort, for 
health ; and all composing a much better appara- 
tus for developing a full proportioned man from 
the rude elements of the boy. But the work of 
reform is not yet complete. Even our own loved 



110 FAMILY TRAINING. 

New England is yet dotted over with not a few 
of the merest boy cages ; where close and impure 
air induces a soggy brain, and a dull intellect, 
which ordinarily yields too large an amount of 
idleness and mischief; "grating harsh discord'- 
upon the efforts of a faithful teacher, who is do- 
ing the best he can, with nerves unstrung and a 
temper rendered fretful, from the same causes 
which make the children so naughty. I say these 
local influences are passsng away ; and yet far too 
many of them remain, for the good of the rising 
generation, especially in the smaller country 
towns. 

When a lad, I went to school in a room which 
was often crammed with more than one hundred 
scholars, with two teachers. And only last au- 
tumn, when I visited the old homestead, and took 
another peep into that old school-room, which had 
been the scene of so much suffering and dread, 
that thirty-five years have hardly blunted the 
keen edge of the recollections of headache and 
weariness, which made each hour a day, and each 
day almost insupportable; I found the identical 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. Ill 

old school-house yet there, with no alteration or 
amendment, except in the order of the seats.* It 
still remains with open jaws and small capacity, 
to gorge the successive generations of children. 
And though I am happy to say, it does by no 
means succeed in making very blockheads of the 
entire number it receives, yet I dare say, it con- 
tinues, as formerly, in doing all it can to cramp 
the budding genius, and fetter the free action of 
juvenile thought. Since God has made a world 
full of good air, and ordained wise laws to keep 
it fresh for use, why may not all have as much 
as they want of it to breathe ? There are chil- 
dren whose parents would think it unpardonable, 
should their little ones become slightly bronzed 
by vernal suns and equinoxial winds. Their del- 
icate feet and hands must never touch the fresh 
dirt, lest they become barbarously defiled. And 
yet these may, perhaps, be crowded into a small, 
low, tight room, with door closed and windows 
down ; with not a breath of air except the roomful 
which is shut in with them for the night, unless 

* A new one is now going up. 



112 FAMILY TRAINING. 

small portions may enter somewhere in defiance 
of the mechanic's art. In much this condition, 
night after night, year in and year out, these 
forms of susceptible texture must literally inhale 
over and, over the filth of their own persons. Na- 
ture is constantly blowing off in efforts at purifi- 
cation. And art is as constantly condensing back 
into the system the enfeebling elements of its own 
effusion. Why inflict such a penance on a child 
— a penance which God does not require, and 
which nature abhors ? Truly, such as practice in 
this way may keep clean the outside of the child's 
clay tabernacle, and yet they provide for the worst 
kind of physical impurities within. 

Every child has a body which ought to he ipro- 
vided toith sufficient exercise. And the more of 
this you can give them in the open air, the bet- 
ter, provided their persons are suitably protected. 
Some kind of useful employment is ordinarily the 
best kind of exercise. Careful observation has 
shown that almost every child has a native taste 
for utility ; though this taste is often destroyed in 
early life, for want of proper cultivation, During 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 113 

a course of years in which the writer's whole 
time has bee'? employed with children and youth, 
he has found but few among the many, who 
would not willingly leave their play to do some- 
thing useful. Many lads have, perhaps, more fre- 
quently asked for something to do in the form of 
work, than for anything beside. There is evi- 
dently a distinct element in human nature, which 
can only be developed by some form of utility ; 
and by an appeal to this element, in securing need- 
ful exercise, we do, as the old adage has it, "kill 
two birds with one stone." We secure the exer- 
cise which is needful for present health and vigor ; 
and also cultivate a love of industry and a habit 
of being useful. Labor, however, must not con- 
stitute the whole of juvenile exercise. Certainly, 
it must not be pressed as a task for the whole. 
And your prudence should ever be on guard, lest 
your child be supplied with too large a portion of 
this good thing ; though, in most cases, the great- 
er danger lies in the opposite extreme. Children 
should certainly have play enough, if not provi- 
ded with work. And in this department, I have 



114 FAMILY TRAINING. 

invariably found, that nothing is entered into by 
them with so much life and spirit, as something 
they get up themselves. Something original, which 
embraces both mental skill and physical activity, 
will continue fresh and impart a strong stimulus, 
long after a set game would become dull and in- 
sipid. If you are in the free and open country, 
when your boys have become tired of the gym- 
nasium, of " tag " and " pealaway," and with the 
various forms of ball, give them a pile of old brok- 
en rails, or other farm-yard fragments, — a heap of 
stones ; or turn them out upon a road bank, skirt- 
ed with green turf, and you will see new foun- 
tains of enterprise, gushing up in many novel 
forms, where you thought all was exhausted. In- 
vention and practice, afford the double pleasure 
of mental and physical activity. " Guarded ex- 
posure in all weathers," was the oft-repeated ad- 
vice of a venerable professor to his pupils. And this 
rule is, probably, about as nearly right as you can 
get any general one. Frosty locks and cold fin- 
gers, snow forts and ice railways, are the very best 
states and employments of school boys in winter. 



PHYSICAL TK AINING. 115 

And these will do more than anything else exter- 
nal, to secure a sound mind in a sound body. 

But daughters have constitutions to develop, 
and systems to invigorate, as well as sons. And 
it is believed they much oftener suffer, through 
lack of the proper means. The same elements 
in them, require the same air and exercise. It is 
believed that many excellent families in the com- 
munity, greatly err on this point, and that too, to 
the great detriment of health and vigor. 

True, the daughters ought not, and cannot en- 
ter into all the masculine sports adapted to boys ; 
and yet they must have free and stirring exercise 
in the open air. No in-door preparation, either of 
work or play, can be a substitute for this. Romps, 
perhaps, is not the most proper term to designate 
the needful out-door exercise of girls; and yet 
I would much rather have them, in suitable pla- 
ces and at suitable times, coast down hill, slide 
on the ice, and even climb apple-trees, than have 
them always housed up in tight rooms, and com- 
pelled to breathe close air. Indeed you can nev- 
er develop a truly elegant form, and a vigorous 



116 FAMILY TRAINING. 

constitution, by the " hot bed" and straight-jack- 
et process. 

Every child has a body which should be kept 
clean. Filth, be there more or less of it, has a 
two-fold tendency. It degrades and enfeebles 
the persons, by its enervating influence. It also 
has the power of striking in, and inherently af- 
fects the intellectual and moral natures. We of- 
ten notice a strong similarity between the out- 
ward and the inward of a man. What otherwise 
might have been mental gold, and moral purity, 
is often tarnished, and turned to corrosion, by the 
slovenly encasement of the body. Figuratively 
speaking, many bright thoughts are scared away 
from the intellect, and many noble resolves die 
in the soul, because they can pass neither in nor 
out, without coming in contact with an unclean 
person. 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 1 1 7 



XV. 

PHYSICAL TRAINING.— HINTS AND CAUTIONS.* 

A new period in the life of a child, brings new 
joys ; and often, also, new dangers, and new tri- 
als. As the boy, more especially, approaches the 
age of puberty, a new class of impulses begin to 
stir, preparatory to a new development; a new 
bodily appetite gradually grows into being ; and 
youthful ardor receives an additional stimulus, 
from new ideas respecting the reciprocal relation 
of the sexes. Considering the unbalanced con- 
dition of the forces of fallen humanity, the peri- 
od from twelve to fifteen or sixteen years of age, 
may be considered the season most fruitful of 
danger. This, physically, is the transition period 
from the child, to manhood. During this brief 

s For valuable information on the subject of this number, 
the reader is referred to the following little works. " Hints 
to the young," &c, by Samuel B. Woodward, M, D. " True 
relation of the Sexes," by John Ware, M. D. " An hour's con- 
ference with the young," by Charles V. Bell. 



118 FAMILY TRAINING. 

season, physical habits are often formed, which 
determine the whole future of the man, both men- 
tally and physically. 

Says a living writer, " It seems unfortunate, 
that the propensity of our natures, which it seems 
hnost difficult to control, and which, when uncon- 
trolled, is the sure source of the greatest physical 
and moral evils, is that whose regulation is left 
most completely to chance j or at least to the in- 
fluence of circumstances in the progress of life, 
that we can do very little to modify." 

All know what turn this propensity often takes 
in our large cities. It involves an evil which is 
very ancient. The Wise man hath told, in Prov- 
erbs, of one who sitteth at the door of her house, 
on a seat in the high places of the city, to call 
passengers who go right on their ways. To him 
that wanteth understanding, she saith, stolen wa- 
ters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleas- 
ant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; 
and that her guests are in the depths of hell. 
Surely in these latter days, she hath no need to 
sit and woo thus publicly j for many be the fair 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 119 

youth who go and search diligently for her, even 
in dark and lonesome places. Time has not dried 
up these stolen waters : nor have those who go 
on their way ceased to turn in as they pass along; 
and yet many would pass by without stopping, 
had they received from parental lips, and parental 
watchfulness, the requisite instruction and train- 
ing soon enough. 

But the city is not alone in danger from the in- 
fluence of ungoverned appetite. There is anoth- 
er habit than the one described by Solomon ; and 
as involving an earlier practice, is perhaps uniform- 
ly the precursor to the one already noticed. It is 
more solitary and requires no companionship for 
its perpetration. Its prevalence in the community, 
among both high and low, constitutes, there is rea- 
son to fear, too extensively the primary school of 
sensuality. I know that all parents would be hap- 
py to believe their sons and daughters were en- 
tirely ignorant both of the habit and its practice ; 
but the late Samuel B. Woodward, M. D., has said, 
that after all his investigation, he had never found 
a boy over twelve years of age, who did not 



120 FAMILY TRAINING* 

know of the habit, and was not familiar with the 
common names by which it passes among boys. 
It is a false delicacy by which intelligent parents 
feign an ignorance and an indifference in regard 
to an evil which stands in such proximity to the 
vital interest of the child ; especially when nearly 
all the work which can be done by way of pre* 
vention, must be done in the family, and can be 
most effectually done by the parents. The young- 
er generation of children, are initiated by those 
a few years in the advance ; and thus the evil is 
perpetuated. The habit is established by the in- 
fluence of example, often before any harm or 
wrong is thought of. It does not require any 
hardness in vice to commence this habit ; for the 
innocent are almost equally liable to become its 
victims. But when the habit is once established, 
though new light be thrown upon the darkness, 
yet the power of an active conscience, and the 
dread of coming evil, is not always sufficient to 
secure restraint. The unhappy captive of his 
own tyrant passion, haunted with remorse for 
the past, and threatened with defeat in the future, 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 121 

truly suffers all the anguish of forlorn hope, ad- 
ded to the active misery of his desperate vice ; 
and yet multitudes who have suffered in this way, 
might have been saved from the first violation, 
and have avoided all that has followed, had they 
received the kindly vvatch, and the friendly in- 
etructiorij at the right time. 

■Some. of the effects of this habit, I will give in 
the language of Dr. John Ware, to whom the 
reader has been referred. "In ordinary cases we 
notice an impaired nutrition of the body ; a dim- 
inution of the rotundity which belongs to chil- 
dren and youth ; a general lassitude and languor, 
with weakness of the limbs and back; indisposi- 
tion and incapacity for study or labor ; dullness of 
apprehension, a deficient power of attention,- diz- 
ziness; headaches; pains in the sides, back, and 
limbs ; affection of the eyes. In cases of extreme 
indulgence, these symptoms become more strong- 
ly marked, and are followed by others. The 
emaciation becomes excessive ; the bodily powers 
become more completely prostrated ; -the memory 
and the whole mind partake in the ruin; and 
9 



122 FAMILY TRAINING. 

idiocy or insanity in their most intractable form, 
close the train of evils." 

I am fully aware that this is not the place to 
detail upon a subject so delicate ; and yet, words 
with the parent would close too soon, without 
some allusion to this subject. I have referred to 
some of the best little works, where the subject is 
treated in an able manner, by members of the 
medical profession. 

In regard to remedies, the homely adage will 
undoubtedly hold truer here, than in most cases, 
that a an ounce of prevention is better than a 
pound of cure." Among the means of preven- 
tion are, 

L A degree of moral and mental cultivation, 
which may lead the youth, as it were, instinctive- 
ly, to recoil at the thought of a habit so low and 
filthy ; a high and elevated sense of moral purity, 
is the main rock of safety, from this engulphing 
Whirlpool of perverted appetite. 

2. In close alliance with this elevated purity 
of sentiment, is parental vigilance. This should 
be so timely and persevering and judicious, as 



PHYSICAL TRAINING. 123 

never to communicate a knowledge of this vice to 
the youth, until sure that he has acquired some 
knowledge from some other source ; nor would it 
hardly be pardonable to neglect the welfare of the 
child, so as to allow of such an indulgence to 
pass unnoticed for any length of time, without 
full and faithful instruction as to its moral and 
physical bearing. 

3. Uniform purity of speech, and cleanliness 
of person, are essential helpers in the means of 
prevention. " That which cometh out of the 
heart, defileth the man j" and the outward filth 
of an unclean person, will, ordinarily, so strike 
inward, as to create an impure mind. 

We are told on the best authority, that there is 
positively no cure, while the indulgence is contin- 
ued. Be the subject willing or unwilling, the ex- 
istence of the cause will ensure the effect. The 
constitution may be strong enough, in many ca- 
ses, to hold out with considerable balance, after 
great losses ; and yet the individual can never be 
what he might have been, under the more whole- 
some law of temperance; and the results of the 



124 FAMILY TRAINING. 

transgression may be perpetuated in the iniquities 
of the fathers, upon the children, to the third and 
fourth generation. The books to which reference 
has been made at the head of this number, are, 
ostensibly written for youth ; and yet, with my 
experience in family training, I could not advise 
to the indiscriminate reading of them by children. 
It will be more safe, if the parents become famil- 
iar with their contents. Let the facts and princi- 
ples first pass through the crucible of their own 
thoughts, and thence, modified and prepared by 
paternal interest, pass to the children, as circum- 
stances and prudence may suggest. If concern 
and effort were directed to this subject, and the 
means applied as perseveringly to prevent, as oth- 
er means are, to prevent and eradicate the habits 
of falsehood and profanity, I am sure there would 
be much greater success ; and this cause dimin- 
ished, there would be less to make this fair earth 
a vale of tears ; less to supply it with weeping 
travellers. 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 125 

XVI. 

MORAL INSTRUCTION. 

Every kind of morality not founded on the 
Bible, is at least a cheap article ; and often entire- 
ly useless. Morality, as one part of the world 
has it, is little more than a false politeness, which 
sits merely upon the surface ; — a sort of fitness of 
words and actions to circumstances ; — an effort to 
make all appear smooth, whether it be so or not. 
It has forms, and airs, and expressions even, which 
are sometimes well-nigh ecstatic. But after all, 
it lacks "one thing." It has no live heart. It 
has no real pulse to prove its vitality. It teaches, 
indeed, that the liar is no gentlemen, and will, in 
the end be a loser, when he comes not to be be- 
lieved, though he tells the truth. The highest 
notch of this morality, is just balanced by its own 
golden rule, that " Honesty is the best policy ;" 
not discerning that no such policy, merely as such, 
can ever make an honest man. But this rule of 
policy is a perfect embodiment of this whole sys- 



126 FAMILY TKAININO. 

tern of morals. It is all policy, and nothing else. 
So much for the principles. Now let us glance at 
the practice. All policy, in this sense, is, more 
or less, directly aimed at personal advantage, as a 
result ; and that too, irrespective of the abstract 
right or wrong of the matter. It may be found 
convenient to proceed upon right principles ; and 
then the act is innocent. When wrong principles 
are deemed better suited to the end, this policy 
makes no scruple to employ them. " The end 
sanctifies the means," if any sanctification is deem- 
ed needed to justify them. Hence, this politic 
morality appears pretty well, when the profit and 
loss in the case are favorably adjusted. It sits 
quite comely on the character, as a kind of Sun- 
day dress, and often makes an admirable appear- 
ance in company. In very refined society, so 
called, it occasionally seems to eclipse the sterner 
kind, in its own shadowy substance. And yet it 
always appears to the best advantage " in fair 
weather." Indeed, it does not well endure the 
storms of life. When right practice requires strong 
self-denial, it bends in accommodation to circum- 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 127 

stances. It will never bind a child firmly to truth 
while falsehood promises a much better success. 
It has no charm against the use of oaths and vul- 
garity, where profanity and obsceneness are popu- 
lar. Constructed mainly, to go with the tide of 
human affairs, it makes a feeble resistance against 
the popular current, turbid though that current be 
with false principles and bad actions. 

Every parent, therefore, who would train his 
child in the way he should go, must take the Bi- 
ble as his leading text-book in morals. You must 
put God, the Supreme, the holy, just and good, 
in the centre of your system. Let your creed 
put in His hand the sceptre of dominion, and con- 
cede to Him the sovereign right of universal gov- 
ernment. To this Supreme, let your child's 
thoughts be directed. Teach him early to ascribe 
every thing in creation and providence, to God as 
Maker, Disposer, and Ruler, until his own bud- 
ding intellect and expanding heart, shall come to 
do it as by instinct. Instil into his mind the deep 
and settled conviction that God is everywhere 
present j — that everything is said and done under 



128 FAMILY TRAINING. 

his immediate inspection. Commence this instruc- 
tion so early, that in subsequent life, it shall seem 
to have been an inseparable part of his nature ; 
and yet a part which mature reason will cherish 
and confirm ; so that what your child can never 
remember to have learned, because he knew it so 
early, he shall find taught everywhere in the Bi- 
ble, and freely endorsed by the noblest faculties 
of the soul. 

I know you cannot forestall depravity. And 
yet, you may so early surround it with the sun- 
shine of heaven, as to wither some of its bitterest 
fruits in the bud, and thus render your subsequent 
labor more hopeful. This religious habit is not 
piety; though it is worth everything else below 
itself. It can never, in itself, be a substitute for 
piety, though it prepares a soil upon which piety 
will be more likely to grow. 

The fact, that our children are natively de- 
praved, and must be born again before they can 
see the kingdom of heaven, does not excuse us 
from early and strenuous efforts to cultivate such 
a morality as the Bible teaches. On the contrary, 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 129 

it greatly increases the obligation to diligence. 
For, if the garden-soil is full of noxious seeds, 
the hand of cultivation must be nerved in early 
spring-time, in order to anticipate a hopeful au- 
tumn. Verily, you must not allow the suscepti- 
ble soil of the heart to be overrun, if you would 
have the good seed of the Word take root and 
flourish subsequently. 

That error of a liberalized Christianity, which 
regards these religious habits as piety, we must re- 
ject. And that other extreme idea, which asks 
what these modes and habits are good for, if they 
are not piety, we must reject also. For this moral 
condition keeps the heart, in a measure, clear of 
the thistles of prejudice ; it keeps the susceptibili- 
ties, in some degree, delicate to the impressions of 
truth and duty. It encloses the heart with good 
principles, and makes it something safer than the 
unprotected way-side, where many temptations, 
like "fowls of the air," devour the good seed, be- 
fore even the first blade of promise appears. 

As depravity relates more to the will, than to 
any other faculty, children may understand their 



130 FAMILY TRAINING. 

obligations, and feel them too, in some good de- 
gree, long before the will bows in submission. 
So, if they do not become christians early, there 
is an important moral process advancing as pre- 
paratory. The perfect standard of morals, must 
ever be held up as the only true one, so the 
child's felt deficiencies may ever grate upon his 
sense of duty, till he is led to seek the needed 
help, where alone it can be found. 

Such morality is the most highly practical, for 
the present time. It refers all judicious rule from 
the parent, directly back to the great source of all 
authority ; to a being of awful majesty, and in- 
finite goodness, who is viewed as sitting above 
the parent and directing him how to proceed. 
Through the same medium also, that authority 
descends to visit the child with precepts, and bow 
his will to parental love. If the parent truly feels 
the force of this relation, and has properly in- 
structed his offspring in the same, it will not be 
difficult to make the child see, that parental agen- 
cy is only a medium link in conveying the disci- 
pline of Jehovah directly to himself. With such 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 131 

impressions of God so perfectly around and above 
him, — with the realized presence of his providen- 
tial and disciplinary care, most children will not 
long resist parental authority, or refuse parental 
instruction. 



XVII. 

MORAL INSTRUCTION. 



Every child thinks on moral subjects, and feels 
moral influences ; and some feel much more than 
parents apprehend. And, as We are in a great 
measure responsible for the subjects, and right di- 
rection of their thoughts, in our attention to these 
matters, we should by no means overlook the 
furniture of the nursery. A child's playthings 
and amusements may have an influence upon his 
moral nature, which will affect his whole subse- 
quent character. The instinctive tastes of a child 
are often more correct, than they ever are subse- 
quently. The first truly beautiful things, wheth- 



132 FAMILY TRAINING. 

er physical or moral, fill the mind with delight, 
while deformities almost as invariably disgust. 
Yet here often, as elsewhere, familiarity with the 
thing once loathed, secures for it approbation, 
and approbation paves the way for complaisance. 
All pictures and images afford pleasure, principally 
from one or two considerations. The first is the 
resemblance of the imitation to the original, the 
second is a marked dissimilarity where resem- 
blance was anticipated. Pleasure of the first kind 
arises in accordance with a correct and healthful 
taste ; the second is mostly connected with a 
false or vitiated. All "comic pictures" and gro- 
tesque images come under the second class of 
sources of pleasure ; and are doing an immense 
injury, by creating and confirming a morbid taste 
among the young. The sight of them is only 
defiling to the susceptible mind of any youth. 
Not a few have very justly set forth the influence 
of bad books, while the influence of these de- 
formed pictures is doing the preparatory work of 
pollution, even more effectually. For the sight 
of the eye affects the heart more deeply, than a 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 133 

written description of the same object ; and these 
vitiating pictures are capable of doing their worst, 
before the mind is sufficiently mature to be much 
affected by a written narrative. And they are 
rendered more dangerous, from the fact, that 
many parents who will not harbor a bad book, 
do not hesitate to spread before the tender mind, 
every grade and character of comic picture. 
What though these do not speak in language ? 
Yet they do most powerfully impress the whole 
plastic nature of the child, and often transform it 
•into a corruptible thing after its own image. 

Give that beautiful boy, who discovers a taste 
for drawing, a pencil and paper ; and what is 
most likely in these days, to come forth from the 
darling's brain? Not a virgin, blue-eyed and 
beautiful, as that which leaped from the gash 
made in Jupiter's cranium. No ; but "monstrum 
Iwrrendum /"—and really revealing a morbid taste 
which is forming within. A taste which, unles s 
checked in the bud, may soon become too arti- 
ficial to relish anything real. Alas ! how much 
of good influence, — of Baptismal dedication, of 



134 FAMILY TRAINING. 

Maternal Meetings and Sabbath School instruc- 
tion, is daily swept away by these "besoms of 
destruction." When will the devoted father and 
mother stop deliberately sowing the worst of tares 
in their own precious wheat-fields ? 

Purity of speech is a fundamental considera- 
tion in forming the morals of a child. Words 
take their complexion from the moral state of the 
heart. So, if profane or obscene words, in any 
form, are allowed, they will always increase the 
vicious propensity, through the well-known law 
that practice generates strength. But words them- 
selves when once spoken, react upon the moral 
feelings. So every foul-mouthed boy, not only 
poisons the surrounding atmosphere with his 
tongue, he at the same time corrupts inwardly. 

There are many profane and foolish talkers in 
these days, who are not regarded, generally, as 
such. Many children swear by almost every ex- 
istence except the Deity, and think it no harm. 
Why should they? When, perhaps, their parents 
daily do the same ; or, if not their parents, many 
others who are esteemed as genteel and polite. 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 135 

/ was only fooling him. This is no infrequent 
expression of youth, after having so fairly deceiv- 
ed a fellow, as to win his credence, and thereby, 
bring him to some unpleasant issue. But if the 
Scriptures are to be our guide, the fool made in 
this way, is the deceiver rather than the one who 
believed the lie and suffered by it. Much immo- 
rality comes of this practice; and every such 
fool-maker must, before long, feel the smartings 
of such folly. There is hardly a more pitiable 
object in society, than a man who has cut him- 
self off from all human confidence by an habitu- 
al abuse of language. With his own tongue he 
has branded his forehead as a liar, and the burn- 
ing shame will never heal over. Truthfulness is 
a corner stone in character, and if it be not firmly 
laid in youth, there will ever after be a weak 
spot in the foundation. There are many other 
evils which insensibly spring up as the offshoots 
of a depraved heart. You must not let them 
alone in childhood. How appropriate the injunc- 
tion of the Bible on this point. "Line upon 
line, precept upon precept." "These shalt thou 



136 FAMILY TRAINING. 

teach diligently to thy children, and shalt talk of 
them when thou sitest in thine house, and when 
thou risest up." The Spirit of God who revealed 
this passage, alone knows the full extent of its 
importance ; and no language could more forcibly 
convey to us the import of the work. 

Perhaps the exercise of no faculty presents 
greater obstacles to the culture of morals, than 
that of a perverted imagination. This is, as it 
were, the messenger faculty, and goes forth at 
the bidding of the will, or without command, 
and brings in from creation, or calls up from non- 
entity, objects of contemplation, When inno- 
cently indulged, it is one of the most efficient 
agents of human enjoyment. But, as the swift- 
est angel of light becomes the blackest fiend of 
darkness, when fallen, so the imagination, when 
perverted by unlawful indulgence, becomes a 
more perfect and constant tormenter, than any 
other faculty can. 

When the imagination is allowed to roam 
among unseemly and defiling objects, — when it 
brings them into the heart for the affections to 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 137 

caress and revel among, then the virtues of that 
heart begin to decline. They cannot live long 
under the influence of these impurities. And if 
this faculty be allowed to pursue its unchaste 
employment, it becomes itself morbid, and has 
little relish for anything but filth. Now it is un- 
fitted to be the minister of the virtues ; and they, 
one after another, become sickly and die of star- 
vation. Meanwhile, the more tolerable, and next 
the more loathsome vices begin to breed and 
gather strength from the nutriment offered. And, 
unless the progress be arrested, who can tell the 
mental and physical suffering which may ensue. 
Once, this imagination was a prime minister to 
an innocent gratification ; and now he is the will- 
ing slave to its tormenting inflictions. 

Look once more. On the drawing table of a 
chaste daughter, lies a book in three volumes ; or, 
it may be, in pamphlet form with yellow covers. 
The book has few attractions for an unsullied im- 
agination, and is, perhaps, commenced, to .lease 
a false friend. But when commenced , uncon- 
scious, though strong excitement carries the reader 
10 



138 FAMILY TRAINING. 

forward till the last page is turned; and then 
she tries to recollect her thoughts, 

" And nothing finds, but dreary emptiness." 

And yet her imagination has received a taint 
from which it will never recover. It has found a 
new element, and been poisoned by it. That 
poison creates a morbid relish for an additional 
supply. The additional supply infuses a new 
poison, until the almost raving mind is gratified 
with nothing real, and satisfied with nothing ficti- 
tious. Her imagination once chaste and leading 
forth the thoughts to the possession of an inno- 
cent enjoyment, now debased, shuts out from the 
mind the bright images of God's creation, and 
mainly feeds it with the very festerings of evil. 
Truly, the heavenly wisdom is profitable to di- 
rect every parent in the selection of books for his 
children. 



EARLY PIETY. 139 



XYIII. 

EARLY PIETY. 

Some excellent parents appear to regard young 
children as incapable of permanent religious im- 
pressions; and, acting in full accordance with 
this view, impart very little direct religious in- 
struction during the early period of the child's 
life. And yet, the grace and providence of God 
are constantly producing facts to prove the con- 
trary. There are true and faithful witnesses, 
both inspired and uninspired, who can testify, 
that very young children do comprehend enough 
of God for all the purposes of true reverence and 
worship. They can know enough of their own 
destitution to feel the need of prayer ; enough of 
their desperate condition as it is by nature, to 
look to another for rescue. They can understand 
enough of the Savior, to exercise a living faith 
in Him. There is nothing in the Bible, and 
nothing in the manifestations of the child, which 



140 FAMILY TRAINING. 

should lead any to regard him so purely an ani- 
mal, as really to have no available religious sensi- 
bilities j nor can we persuade ourselves, that the 
Savior regarded in any such light, the little chil- 
dren whom he took in his arms. To treat them, 
therefore, as not capable of receiving salvation by 
grace, until they have nearly or quite reached 
their " teens," is manifestly, violence done to 
God's plan, and great injustice to the essential 
rights which every child inherits by his birth in 
a christian community. 

If you delay personal efforts for the salvation 
of your child until reason has attained the matur- 
ity of incipient manhood, depravity, often, will 
have so matured the evil propensities and passions, 
as greatly to diminish the prospects of conversion. 
For, the religious sensibility, so far from com- 
mencing at this period, is often well nigh extin- 
guished, by an overgrowth of depraved inclina- 
tions; leaving scarcely enough of susceptible 
soil, even to lay the foundation of hope. I know 
there are parents who say, their children are not 
old enough to comprehend religious truth, when 



EARLY PIETY. 141 

applied to their condition as sinners ; and yet, these 
same children have enough of comprehension, to 
pursue with profit, the studies of Latin, Greek 
and Algebra. And the parents would consider 
them slandered, if told they were incapable of 
understanding many other subjects, which appro- 
priately belong to maturer years. Still, they are 
waiting for a maturity of judgment, which may 
render profitable any direct and personal efforts 
for the child's conversion. Such would do well 
to consider, that, before this fancied period shall 
have arrived, the passions may have become a 
despot, and reason a captive ; wholly under the 
power of inordinate desire; when the most favor- 
able period for conviction and conversion shall 
have passed, if there be not increasing evidence, 
that the soul once susceptible, is going over to 
hardness of heart — to be given up to believe a 
lie, and consequently be lost. 

But a merciful God does not shut up any to such 
a course. The gospel teaches, that we labor and 
pray for early conversions ; and all who follow 
the divine precept, may hope for such results. 



142 FAMILY TRAINING. 

To this end the child should be early taught 
that he is a sinner, and unfit for heaven until re- 
newed ; and his moral delinquencies should be so 
exposed to his comprehension, as to illustrate this 
fact. The need of divine help should be im- 
pressed upon his mind so early, that, in maturer 
years, he will not be able to remember when he 
did not feel this dependence, and heartily ac- 
knowledge it in prayer. This, indeed, will not 
be piety ; but, under the Spirit's influence, it will 
at least be the solemn conviction, that there is no 
safety, and no permanent source of comfort with- 
out piety j that there is no way to please God, 
but to love and obey Him. This abiding and 
unavoidable impression, will so whet the edge of 
conscience, that sins, even little sins, will grate 
harsh discord on the soul, and leave it no peace, 
till it is sought and found in Jesus. 

If parents will commence this work judicious- 
ly, and with a proper reliance on the needed helps, 
God will help them. He has formed and adjust- 
ed the faculties of the mind to be wrought upon 
and moulded in this way. The natural depen- 



EARLY PIETY. 143 

dence which every little child feels upon his 
earthly parents, may easily be made a stepping- 
stone to those higher relations which he holds to 
his Father in heaven. Every case of reproof and 
discipline, for obstinacy and disobedience, may be 
turned into an impressive commentary upon God's 
displeasure of all sin, until the child shall feel 
that "sin is exceeding sinful." 

We are not, however, to look for, in a child, 
the deep convictions of a full-grown sinner. In- 
deed, other things being equal, he cannot have 
these; nor are we to anticipate, ordinarily, the 
strength, and clearness of view, which is often 
expressed, when one of mature age is renewed, 
and turns to God. We should be satisfied with 
a single ray at the commencement, provided we 
have evidence that it is so much of the true light 
dawning on the soul. The commencement of 
this new being, must, of course, be after the 
measure of a chili; but, if the germ, however 
delicate, be from the true grain of seed, it is the 
first putting forth of an infinite expansion. There 
is a rising light, which will never fade, but bright- 
en into perfect day. 



144 FAMILY TRAINING. 

At this early stage, the confirmation of hope, 
is quite an object of secondary importance. Only 
cultivate the proper spirit, and keep the graces in 
lively exercise, and hope will take care of itself; 
it will come, as a natural consequence, in due 
time. 

The christian meekness of a little child, is one 
of the most charming exhibitions in the moral 
world. All which approaches to cant and formal- 
ism, and technicalities, disappears ; and the trans- 
parent simplicity of the soul glows forth uncheck- 
ed, and unrestrained by artificial incumbrances ; 
and it is all so evidently Christ dwelling in, and 
beaming from, an unsophisticated heart, that one 
feels in the presence of an influence, truly, not of 
earth, and in no way dependant on the stiff for- 
mulas of human device, to show its loveliness. 
It is the stream gushing from the rock, which has 
been opened by the rod of the Good Shepherd, — 
the stream, limpid and pure, and, as yet, unstain- 
ed by long contact with the base soil of a pollu- 
ted world. 

It has been the writer's privilege, to witness 



EARLY PIETY. 145 

at least one such exhibition of youthful piety ; 
and though appearing in the artless thoughts and 
words of a little child, it was more instructive 
and richer than all the dogmas of the schools ; 
for it was God's own work, undressed by man ; 
like every other heaven-born virtue, "when una- 
dorned, adorned the most." 



XIX. 

EARLY PIETY :-^ITS LOVELINESS AND VALUE. 

It has been truly said that " christian is the 
highest style of man;" and the earlier this ele- 
ment becomes incorporated with the character, 
the more finished and perfect will this style of 
manhood be. The Scriptures abound in marked 
examples, illustrating the loveliness of early piety. 
Look at a single case. Young Abijah lived at a 
period when Israel were wading through the 
abysses of idolatry ; and irreligion was doubtless 
as popular as it could well be, with a people who 



146 FAMILY TRAINING. 

had been formerly taught to believe in, and rev- 
erence Jehovah. And yet, when the youthful 
and pious Abijah died 3 all Israel mourned for him. 
All stupid and prejudiced as they were against 
everything of a serious character, they could not 
repress their respect and admiration for a consis- 
tently pious young man. When they laid him in 
the grave, they seemed to have felt that Israel 
had lost a jewel. The common sense of the 
people was blunted by almost everything defiling ; 
yet they recognised in him a young man of true 
worth. There was found in him some good 
thing toward the Lord his God; and they all 
mourned for him, because there is a savor of 
loveliness, there is a dignity of excellence in un- 
pretending, youthful piety, which challenges re- 
spect, even from the bad. When adorned with 
the meekness of humility, when guarded by cir- 
cumspection and redolent of benevolence, its 
charms are well nigh irresistible. The vain and 
irreligious throng will reject the principles, and 
some of them will sneer at the practice of a pious 
young man. But inwardly they will approve of 



EARLY PIETY. 147 

a worth which themselves do not possess ; and, 
should he die young, they cannot withhold the 
tacit acknowledgement that they have lost a 
friend, though, while living, they may have treat- 
ed his friendship with unkindness. 

Youthful piety is not only more lovely, but 
other things being equal, it is far more valuable 
than that which commences at an advanced peri- 
od of life ; because it pre-occupies the susceptible 
soil of the heart, with its pure sentiments and af- 
fections. It appropriates this ground before the 
noxious seeds of actual transgression have so 
deeply taken root for their own support. Piety 
which commences late in life, often seems to do 
little more than keep, in tolerable check, the bad 
propensities which have been indulged and 
strengthened in previous years. In such cases, 
the latter half of life is often required to unlearn 
the faculties, and subdue the force of propensities 
which have acquired strength during the young 
and susceptible years of transgression. The 
aged convert is a christian; — his purposes are 
strong, and his efforts strenuous for a life of holi- 



148 FAMILY TRAINING. 

ness ; and he duly estimates the value of divine 
grace, to render his efforts effectual. But the 
wind and tide of character have been so long 
setting in an opposite direction, and so deeply 
worn are the channels of habit, that, ordinarily, 
neither conscience nor grace will secure the 
amount of effort requisite to overcome and en- 
tirely reverse the motion at once. A change of 
purpose, and a change of moral affection, does 
not at once repair the dreadful ravages which a 
course of fictitious and vile reading has committed 
upon the imagination. The morbid faculty will 
have its unseemly images ; and the irresistible ex- 
citement which these produce, will prey upon the 
sensibilities often for a long time, despite of pur- 
pose to the contrary. The tastes long vitiated 
by unwholesome ailment, will undervalue, if they 
do not have feeble relish for the " sincere milk of 
the word." 

When, by divine grace, the confirmed sceptic 
turns to God, his confirmed habits of caviling 
are, in his mind, like one of those strong currents 
setting across the ship's path in the ocean, which 



EARLY PIETY. 149 

throws the mariner into perplexity when he finds 
his vessel so far from her course, though sure that 
his principles of reckoning are true. I have seen 
a converted infidel thirsting for knowledge at the 
fount of truth, and drinking religious instruction 
with a keen relish ; yet, actually clogging up the 
pure stream which was flowing into his soul, by 
his petty cavils and small objections ; and all this 
from the force of previous habit. 

But when a child, or a youth, is converted, and 
turns to the proper cultivation of his heart, though 
the change is essentially the same, still there are 
not so many things added to nature by practice, 
to be resisted and overcome. There are fewer 
evils wrought in and confirmed by habit; and 
the soul when healed of its malady by the Great 
Physician, may grow into greater excellence and 
will exhibit a higher degree of symmetry, and 
possess greater value. 

In the youthful mind, sin has not blasted so 
many things which are lovely in native ckarar'rr; 
and this native loveliness, when early brought 
under the cultivation of grace, will exhibit 



150 FAMILY TRAINING. 

charms, which, humanly speaking, never can be 
superinduced even by grace, after they have been 
once destroyed by sin. A native sweetness of 
temper, enriched by habitual submission to God, 
is a possession which a fiend might admire, though 
many excellent christians do not possess it. A 
native generosity, brought early under the train- 
ing of christian benevolence, makes the true phil- 
anthropist. But let these native qualities be first 
long trained under the influence of unsanctified 
affections ; — let the heart indulge suspicion, — let 
jealousy and hate corrode it,— -let an all-absorbing 
selfishness rule, until the sinews of a native gen- 
erosity, now reversed, have grown into the strength 
of a miser's arm, and become endowed with the 
tenacity of a miser's grasp, and though grace may 
change the principles and the purpose, and to 
some degree the practice, yet neither nature nor 
grace can make that heart what it might have 
been, by the early cultivation of supreme love to 
God, and genuine good will to men. "Can the 
Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his 
spots ? Then may ye also do good that are ac- 



EARLY PIETY. 151 

customed to do evil." This strongly figurative 
language does not, perhaps, express an absolute 
impossibility ; because, with God's help, all things 
are possible. But it does show the obstinate, and 
humanly speaking, the resistless power of early 
habit j and with the same force does it recom- 
mend early piety as the best and only means of 
securing the purest loveliness, and the highest 
excellence. 

Piety contains a priceless value for the young, 
because it is the only means which will keep 
them from falling under many of the temptations 
to which they are exposed. We can easily infer 
from the influence it had upon the youthful Abi- 
jah. Almost every moral light in his father's 
corrupt court was a treacherous one. The mo- 
tives held out as inducements to action, were such 
as would naturally prompt to supreme selfishness 
and pride. But this noble youth, planted on that 
lone rock , — implicit trust in God, stood firm amid 
the raging sea of evils. No doubt the billows of 
temptation often broke over him ; but, as his 
foundation was steadfast, the billows passed on ; 



152 FAMILY TRAINING. 

and then the bright sunshine of divine favor was 
all the more cheering for this previous drenching 
in the flood of trial ; and so it will ever be where 
youthful piety is genuine and active. While he 
who is dazzled by the false lights of greatness, 
and who embarks upon life with the treacherous 
maxims of human invention for his guide, will 
be dashed either on the shoals of time or on the 
shores of eternity, and thrown up a wreck to 
perish, that other youth who early takes the Bi- 
ble for his guide, and a living faith for his anchor, 
will safely outride every storm; and in port, find 
his Father's house, with its mansions prepared for 
him. The fair-weather disciple will often flee 
before the least storm of opposition; nor be seen 
again in his professed character, until the danger 
of conflict is past. But he who truly loves his 
Master, and has pledged fidelity to his cause on 
the strength of divine help, will stand by that 
cause in storm, no less than sunshine, until he 
sees that very Master walking on the troubled 
elements to calm its surges, and give him peace. 
When youthful character is thus allied, all foes 



GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 153 

are weak, and all opposition harmless ; the strength 
which is with the confiding christian youth, is 
greater than any can be against him. 



XX. 

GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 

That deep anxiety and holy wrestling in prayer 
and labor, which should always be felt for the 
conversion of the young, is but the dictation of 
the Spirit who takes these precious interests of 
Christ and shows their importance to the christian 
parent. But if we would hear and obey all which 
the Spirit says unto the churches, we shall not 
omit our watching and wrestling, when evidence 
is gained that a child is converted from the error 
of his ways. So far from this, our anxiety will 
be rather increased than diminished. For it is 
not difficult to show that the chief revenue of 
glory to God, and of usefulness among men, re- 
sult from growth after conversion. And what is 
11 



154 FAMILY TRAINING. 

more, the gracious bestowment has really enhanc- 
ed the true value of the soul, and hence brought 
upon those entrusted with its training, increased 
responsibility. 

The introduction of grace to the heart has 
been fitly represented by a grain of seed j and 
guided by this representation, we know that of 
all things in the kingdom of nature which are 
susceptible of growth, their value depends mainly 
upon that growth j and doubtless the Great 
Teacher intended to show that the kingdom of 
grace would follow the same general order. 

The grain must be perfect in its kind, and 
every way adapted as a seed to accomplish the 
ultimate end of the designer; and yet, until ex- 
pansion commences, it neither is, nor can be, any- 
thing more than a seed. No space of time, how- 
ever long, can make it even a seedling, unless it 
grow during that time. So long as it remains a 
grain, it can perform none of the functions of a 
fruit-bearing tree. So our Great Teacher would 
seem to say, the simplest principles, in the fee- 
blest form of piety, may exist in a heart, and as 



GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 155 

such indeed, reflect the wisdom and the benevo- 
lence of God ; but until these principles expand 
and strengthen, — until they acquire some degree 
of activity, so they may exert an influence over 
the individual, and through him, on others, they 
are like the grain of seed, possessing, indeed, the 
simplest form of vitality, but destitute of efficien- 
cy. Such piety may promise fruit hereafter; but 
before this promise can be redeemed, it must have 
some degree of expansion : it must be cultivated 
and exercised in ways and modes which are fitted 
to impart strength and activity. 

The infant may have in embryo all the ele- 
ments of the future man. But age, simply, can 
never make him a man. He must grow in all 
directions before he can be essentially more than 
an infant. What could a township of infants gf 
boys do, to fill the places in a community whose 
duties require the maturity of manhood? And 
how much more can the "babes in Christ" do 
for his kingdom ? When a soul is newly bom 3 
there is a change which could result from a cause 
no less than Almighty power; and yet natural 



156 FAMILY TRAINING. 

infancy is the type best fitted to represent this 
newly-created being. Conversion is first in the 
order of nature, while growth is not second in its 
relation to the kingdom of Christ. And yet, 
how many seem in a good degree satisfied for 
their children, when a meagre hope is gained 
that they have crossed the line which divides a 
state of moral death from spiritual life. As 
though to be saved, barely, with the loss of all 
which a faithful obedience would have secured, 
were abundantly satisfactory ; as though the low- 
est condition of security from positive infliction 
exhausted the practical value of Christ's king- 
dom ; as though the grain of seed had accom- 
plished the utmost of its destiny, when it has 
given evidence of the lowest form of life, though 
even that form is entirely out of sight, perfectly 
shut up within its small encasement; just as a 
christian hope often is in the soul. Alas ! the 
ways of Zion do mourn, because often a hope of 
conversion is made so nearly the sum total of 
value, and christian growth is comparatively 
thought so little of. 



GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 157 

The apostle says to the young converts, who 
indulged hope under his ministry, Ye are babes 
in Christ ; and as such, of how many things is 
recent piety destitute ? And if the plan of the 
kingdom contained no provisions for subsequent 
growth, how destitute, and by consequence, how 
inefficient must it remain ! 

As a babe in Christ, how ignorant is the young 
convert, respecting the nature of the kingdom to 
which he has been introduced. The blessed 
Comforter, has, as yet, taken but a few of the 
things of Jesus, and shown them unto him. 
When once translated to the kingdom of light, 
the soul can say, Whereas, I was once blind, I 
now see ; though, in regard to many things, the 
young convert still sees men as trees walking. 
Surprising progress in the knowledge of God's 
Word has often been made, under the continued 
illuminations of the Spirit. To those who follow 
on to know the Lord, these truths have assumed 
a richness and value, which the growing soul can 
admire, though not able to describe. New and 
exalting views of Christ break upon the mind of 



158 FAMILY TRAINING. 

the humble learner at his feet ; and. this too, after 
many years of watchfulness, of study, and of 
contemplation. What advancing ideas of duty 
often lead on the man, both to a more compre- 
hensive system of christian action, and to deeper 
conflicts with self. 

As a babe in Christ, the young convert is feeble 
as well as ignorant, — -feeble in faith, feeble in pa- 
tience ; and it enters into the plan of his new 
being, that he grow stronger by the use of proper 
means. To the young convert it does not appear 
what he may be, even in this life. There is a 
degree of spiritual vigor, of fortitude and of per- 
severance, which he knows not of, except as it is 
revealed to him in the lives of others, and in the 
promises of God. The crown in prospect draws 
nearer, and discovers a richer value, as the soldier 
advances in his warfare, and becomes more suc- 
cessful in his contests with the lusts of the flesh, 
the lust of the eye and the pride of life. But if 
there be no warfare, there surely can be no 
achievement ; and the virtues do not strengthen 
without exercise. We cannot avoid the painful 



GROWTH OF EARLY PIETY. 159 

conviction that the terms conflict and warfare, so 
familiar and practical with the sacramental host 
in all ages, are becoming obsolete in these days 
of a more fashionable piety. With too many, 
there is too much reason to fear that personal 
safety is the great idea in religion; and hence, 
too often a hope of pardon and a christian profes- 
sion are the chief articles of value. With such, 
the leading argument in support of any course to 
which inclination leads, is, "I do not see any 
hurt in it." These seem to live in anticipation 
that death will so neutralize the distinctions, and 
equalize the possessions of the saints, that all will 
be set upon an equal footing of rewards and fa- 
cilities in the future world. As though the slug- 
gard might reap as plentiful a harvest, as the dili- 
gent and persevering husbandman ; as though the 
veriest drone in our Master's vineyard might ac- 
quire possessions, which he was too indolent to 
desire ; as though the professing christian, who is 
never known as such, except at the communion 
table, might divide equally with the world in its 
avarice and follies; and to all appearance, live in 



160 FAMILY TRAINING. 

Satan's kingdom as a loyal subject, till death 
shall qualify him for the rewards of the faithful. 
But if such can be saved, even as by fire, yet the 
Master calls for a different class of servants in 
the work of redeeming this lost world ; and who 
can tell the prospective difference between a shriv- 
elled piety, choked round with unlawful cares 
and deceitful riches, scorched to the extreme of 
dryness, by the heat of divers lusts and posses- 
sions ; who can tell the difference between this, 
and a piety which grasps the immutable throne 
with its faith, and embraces a world and its love 
and obedience ? Which class of piety will the 
christian parent labor to secure in his child, whose 
young heart is now giving the first evidences of 
renewal ? 



JUVENILE BEADING. 161 

XXL 

JUVENILE READING. 

The leading sources of knowledge to which a 
child has access, are observation, experience, oral 
instruction, and reading. The three first have 
been indirectly touched upon at various points, in 
the preceding numbers of this series. The influ- 
ence of reading should by no means be overlooked 
in the training of a child for usefulness and hap- 
piness. A proper taste for reading should be ear- 
ly cultivated. 

Such a taste affords employment for many a 
half hour, which would otherwise be tedious to 
the child, and troublesome to the parent. Hardly 
anything is more agreeable than the sight of a 
little boy or girl, seated in a little chair, and read- 
ing aloud his new book. Every faculty is fully 
awake at the novel business of combining letters 
into words, giving the words articulate sounds, 
and from these sounds, receiving new ideas. 
How gratifying this to the fond mother, as she 



162 FAMILY TRAINING. 

plies her busy care, and turns occasionally to help 
her darling over a hard word, or explain a senti- 
ment which his young ideas can hardly grasp. 
How different this from another scene, where no 
effort is made to cultivate this early taste; but 
where the children, it may be, are pulling each 
other's hair, and are in almost any other kind of 
mischief; to regulate which, requires most of the 
mother's time, when through much vexation and 
weariness, she can only keep the rising excesses 
in tolerable check. 

A taste for reading, when properly directed, is 
a healthful source of amusement. Not that it 
can supply all which a child needs in this depart- 
ment ; yet it will do much in this way, and that 
too, in the best manner. The mind is so consti- 
tuted, that when properly trained, it takes the 
highest pleasure in its own exercise ; and this 
fact holds quite as true of children, as of adults. 
I have eeen the bright boy, seated with his new 
year's gift, a nice, clean book, suited to his years ; 
I have marked his features, radiant with the pleas- 
ure rising from his young heart, at the reception 



JUVENILE READING. 163 

of new ideas from the printed page ; when, ever 
and anon, he would call out, " Mother, do just 
hear this : " and then read on with the double sat- 
isfaction, that he is both receiving and giving 
pleasure. Such a youthful taste is of great value 
as a source of amusement. 

When properly directed, such a taste is an 
equal source of improvement. Ideas from the 
printed page, cultivate the power of abstraction, 
and thus help preserve a just balance between 
sense and reason. The book of nature is fully 
open to the senses, where the eye rests on a bril- 
liant surface, and the thoughts often penetrate no 
further. The book of letters is open more direct- 
ly to the meditative faculties; and hence, ideas 
received in this form, though not so striking at 
first, often make a much more lasting impression 
upon the thoughts, and through these upon the 
character. All who have attentively studied the 
thoughts and modes of little children, will have 
noticed that the juvenile reader is far better qual- 
ified to improve from observation, than another 
youth of equal capacity who is not a reader. To 



164 FAMILY TRAINING. 

the juvenile reader, the facts and phenomena of 
nature are proofs and illustrations of the principles 
and statements he has met with in his reading j 
and the discovery of coincidence between the 
facts of creation and the teaching of books, af- 
fords an additional pleasure and profit, which the 
merely sight-gazer can never experience. This 
statement is not simply a theory ; for the writer 
has lively proof to the contrary, — proof drawn 
not from the figments of the imagination, but 
from the memory of facts. It is but living some 
delightful portions of the past over again, to recal 
the rides and rambles with a little boy, who would 
often say, " Father, this is just what it says in the 
book you gave me," as some object of nature, or 
some work of art, might attract especial attention, 
as we passed along. And when no visible object 
attracts, how pleasing to see him fall back upon 
the simple resources gathered from his little books, 
from which he has treasured up a little world of 
ideas ; and into this, when he does not live through 
the senses without, he will invite you, by a thou- 
sand questions, which he will propound with the 



JUVENILE READING. 165 

most artless simplicity j and yet they are questions 
requiring answers which, perhaps you never 
thought of before, and upon some of them you 
must think long, before you can give a reply 
which will satisfy yourself. 

Juvenile reading should be so directed, that its 
character and quality will keep pace with the ad- 
vancing development of the child's capacities. 
No one, perhaps, will doubt but the first books of 
juvenile literature to be placed in the hands of a 
child, should be the most simple and easy, both 
in the choice of words and the structure of sen- 
tences, as well as' in the style of thought. But 
from these primary forms, there should be some 
direct progress. If the character of the reading 
should never be in the advance of the child's ca- 
pacity, it should always follow closely in the rear. 
But the prevailing fault is, that the child not 
only commences, but too often continues the 
smallest kind of reading, during quite too long a 
period. The mind is so long retained on what 
should be merely the beginning, that the taste 
and mental habits become fixed in their confined 



166 FAMILY TRAINING. 






condition, and there is no relish for advance ; or, 
if the inherent force actually breaks over, the sub- 
sequent advance is much Jess than it otherwise 
would have been ; it must, from necessity, be of 
a diminished measure and rate. 

As a result of this faulty course, a great loss 
of discipline is experienced. Nor is this all ; for 
if the current reading is in books which are de- 
cidedly below the mental capacity, the effect on 
the intellect is actually dissipating j and the mind 
thus treated for a length of time, will certainly 
come to reluctate against the reception of more 
substantial aliment. Many a child by reading 
simple books until, to him, they should have ap- 
peared relatively silly, has in early life, circum- 
scribed his powers within a narrow circle which 
they never broke through in after life. If a taste 
for reading continues with such through life, it 
settles down upon the story-telling kind — a class 
which conveys no information and imparts no 
mental strength. In these instances there is no 
relish for sober, matter-of-fact history, and very 
little for biography, unless it is so strongly spiced 



JUVENILE READING. 167 

with extravagance as to render the facts improba- 
ble ; and usually in these cases, there is as little 
capacity to improve from solid reading, as there is 
disposition to engage in it. The whole object of 
such reading is merely pastime ; and instead of 
laying a tax upon mental effort, it must be of 
such a character as to pay a tribute to sloth, — to 
help on the easy process without effort. 

Another sore evil resulting from this state of 
things is, that it creates a strong disrelish for a 
'persevering and accurate course of study. There 
is too great a disparity between the substance and 
texture of a cob-web fairy tale, or a story-telling 
book, and the severer studies of the school-room, 
to allow one to be compatible with the other in 
the same mind. I am sure there is hardly a foe 
so formidable to mental progress as continuous, 
light-reading. It renders the conceptive faculties 
obtuse by giving them nothing to do ; it annihil- 
ates the power of concentration, by never requir- 
ing a focus of thought, and often creates a mor- 
bid taste, which repudiates everything that is not 
absolutely worthless. 



168 FAMILY TRAINING. 

This superficial propensity so thoroughly per- 
vades the mind, that there comes to be a fixed in- 
ability to study or reading, thoroughly, should 
there subsequently be a disposition. Apply such 
a mind to the perusal of sober history, and a vol- 
ume of Rollin will be dispatched perhaps in two 
hours, and Prescott's Mexico be run over in about 
three evenings ; and yet, the mind which profes- 
ses to have gorged so much valuable literature in 
so short a time, will be found as void of real val- 
ue, as an empty flour barrel is of bread stuff. 
Hardly anything in my experience of training 
youth, has been more painful than my ineffectual 
efforts with this mental dissipation. Some parents 
have introduced their sons, with a prefatory no- 
tice that they were, probably, smart boys, because 
very fond of reading. But in these days, every 
experienced teacher will receive this notice as 
doubtful evidence, until he knows how the lad 
reads, and what he has read. 

The child should advance in the character of 
his reading, as he does in his physical growth, and 
mental progress. He should no more be allowed 



JUVENILE READING. 169 

to tarry in the alphabet of literature, than in the 
alphabet of letters. He may, very profitably 
commence with the Rollo Books. But these, and 
books like these, he must finish while the dew 
of early youth is yet upon him. He must pas? 
to those excellent abridgements of history by the 
same author, as a transition to more extended and 
stately works ; else he will grow up to his statu r< 
of manhood ; and mentally, be only a Little Jons: 
on a Farm. And here, I may be allowed to say 
that, of all merely secular reading, authentic and 
chastely written history and impartial biographv 
are probably the most improving. These approac I 
nearer to God's own book, than any other. Poi 
though not inspired, they are, in one sense, trtu 
revelations of the works and ways of the grea 
Author and Governor of all. They, more fu 
than any other uninspired book, exhibit His • 
signs and agency among the nations, and \\ 
providence over individuals. 

Cultivate in the family circle, a taste for re 
ing history, as early as practicable : let it be 
in connection with the study of geography, the 
12 



170 FAMILY TRAINING. 

your children may learn to live in all ages, and, 
in a sense, to feel at home in all places. Then 
will their views of men and things become ex- 
pansive and noble. Thought and feeling will 
not be graduated on the supposition, that the vis- 
ual line which girds a native home, is the border 
of the world. And as the columns of our sub- 
stantial periodicals are, to passing events, what 
faithful history is to the past, every young person 
will enlarge and enrich his own individuality, if 
he acquires the taste and tact of reading the pass- 
ing world through the current journals. He need 
not read everything in every paper; he must not 
read many things in many papers, unless he in- 
tends to lose sight of his object, and lose him- 
self, he knows not where ; because many things 
in many papers, are the mere flood-wood lodged 
in the medium, through which the current of news 
brings to us the real world as it is. Now, to 
bathe in the stream, and grow strong by imbibing 
its waters, without getting injured by the flood- 
wood, is an exercise which secures mental disci- 
pline, while it brings profitable knowledge. A 



JUVENILE READING. 171 

youth may learn to keep " posted up" on the 
world's great movements, without any injury to 
his school-room employments. I know it to be a 
fact, because I have seen it tried to a most grati- 
fying extent j and this ledger, so made out, will 
multiply himself many fold. The parent who 
aims at such a result, will of course reject from 
his table, the whole tribe of romance, and 
fun pedlars. I invariably drive all these from my 
dwelling, as the patriarch David would chase a 
liar from his sight. A company of youth who 
are accustomed to read the real world as it 
passes, will have topics of conversation for their 
social gatherings, better than the village gossip, 
or the popular scandal. The young christian, 
who is earnest for a life of usefulness, will read 
the daily journal with the same motives, though 
not with the same reverence, that he does his 
Bible. For he desires to know, both what God 
and man are now doing in the great drama which 
is acting upon this footstool, which is deciding the 
destiny of nations for time, and the condition of 
individuals for eternity, We all desire that our 



172 FAMILY TRAINING. 

children would read these facts which make up 
the world's history, with christian eyes, though 
they may not, as yet, have pious hearts. 

Youthful reading should be so directed, as to 
prevent an undue excitement of the imagination. 
This faculty, as all may know, has no need of 
stimulants, at this period of life, since its natural 
tendency is to excess ; and this natural tendency 
may be easily stimulated to a state of morbid and 
ruinous action. It would be out of place here, to 
descant upon the dreadful ravages produced by 
this employment. And yet, when the moral at- 
mosphere is saturated with this pestilent influence, 
every one who has the oversight of the youthful 
mind has need of caution. The world is surely 
full enough of human nature, and that too, in 
forms suited to excite sufficient pathos, so as not 
to require the mock imitations of which the mor- 
bid brains of novel writers are so prolific. But if 
they will continue to bring forth this dire progeny } 
let those only read, who know no other aim in 
life, than to kill time, waste existence, and ruin 
their souls. Let these, if they must, cultivate a 



JUVENILE READING. 173 

philanthropy which will exhaust itself in weep- 
ing over the misfortunes of a drowning fly ; let 
them in their day dreams, suffer martyrdom in 
rescuing some visionary lover from a fatal catas- 
trophe; but let those who would live for God 
and mankind, and enjoy the luxury of true be- 
nevolence, cultivate sympathies more in union 
with Him who went about doing good. To this 
end, let the moral heroes of the Bible, and the 
truly good and great men of other times, be pre- 
sented as the leading models of the child ; so his 
tears of compassion may flow where real suffer- 
ing is to be relieved ; and his ardor, should it rise 
even to consuming, — let it consume a sacrafice 
which will be well pleasing to God. 



174 FAMILY TRAINING 

xxn. 

YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 

The mind and body both require relaxation. 
The bow that is never unstrung, whether of wood 
or steel, loses its elasticity. Some among the 
greatest of the sons of men, have owed their suc- 
cess, in a degree at least, to this practice. Among 
these may be classed the late lamented Daniel 
Webster. His agricultural and rural pastimes, im- 
parted a mental tone which secured some of his 
most masterly efforts. But relaxation, simply, is 
not always sufficient. Diversion must sometimes 
be added to relaxation. The bow long bent, 
must even be bent in the opposite direction, in 
order to recover its full power ; and the mind has 
need, not simply to be unstrung from a severe and 
continued effort; it must be entirely taken off 
and diverted, and if the physical and mental pow- 
ers can recover their highest elasticity in no other 
way, amusements, within the limits of safety, be- 
come lawful and expedient. The right kind of 



YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 175 

amusements are those which will best accomplish 
the objects, and do no injury, either to body or 
mind. They must afford pleasure, else they will 
not relax sufficiently; if they are too exciting, 
they will spend upon the very energies they are 
intended to invigorate. It may then be well to 
inquire, 

1. How far it is economical to carry a system 
of amusements, considered as an invigorating 
stimulant. 

They are evidently economical, so far as they 
will increase the powers of body and mind, for 
useful activity, provided they do not weaken the 
relish for this activity, in its appropriate season. 
To the youthful student, a degree of it seems 
as important as his study : because it is essential 
to his greatest success. It may be that a wise 
teacher, will not often insist upon play, because 
coercion in this matter will neutralize the element 
most useful in relaxation ; and yet, if his plans do 
not essentially incorporate more or less of it, he 
has at least, an obscure title to the attribute of 
wisdom. 



176 FAMILY TRAINING. 

Within safe limits, a child must often be left as 
free as the mountain air j let him forget for the 
hour, that books were ever made, or that tasks 
were ever thought of. Let him in his young 
glee effervesce and throw off, until every pore of 
interest is fully open, and every secretion of 
childish enterprise is freely flowing, and the whole 
being is in a pleasurable glow. There is a bless- 
ing in this, when the indulgence, is indirectly, 
in view of the right object ; and does not itself 
become the main end ; but it is never economical 
to go so far in amusements, that the extent, at 
whatever distance, only creates an increased crav- 
ing for advance ; since that amount is already de- 
feating lawful ends of amusement. When one 
iegree of recreation clamors more loudly for two, 
md two are more imperious in demanding four, 
ts relation to healthful utility is destroyed. It 
becomes itself a leading object j and as such, it 
'an never satisfy itself; for it is constantly crea- 
ting a demand beyond the utmost ability to 
supply. 

2. Amusements evidently become immoral in 



YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 177 

their tendency, when they create a permanent dis- 
relish for the sober and useful duties of life. 

No body and soul can long be kept together 
in harmonious union, by following amusements 
as a leading employment. Utility in some form 
is the end for which every human being was 
made ; all the faculties and powers, until perverted, 
are adapted to give pleasure in the prosecution of 
this object ; and anything which creates a disrel- 
ish for useful pursuits, mars the workmanship of 
God and contradicts his will. 

3. When amusements run so nearly parallel 
to the open forms of vice, that the transition to 
positive wickedness, is natural and imperceptible 
they become immoral in their tendency. 

Card-playing, simply for amusement, may be 
in itself, as harmless as any other game of skill ; 
and yet its affinities with positive gambling, and 
the kindred vices, are so close, that " touch not, 
handle not," seems to be the only safe injunction. 
When, a few years since, eighty-four young men, 
and many of them from respectable families, were 
taken from a gambling nest, and marched through 



178 FAMILY TRAINING. 

the streets of New England's metropolis, in 
irons, it is more than possible that many of them 
took their first lessons in this art of destruction, 
at games of whist around their father's table. 
Inordinate pleasure rarely warns the devotee of 
her legitimate end ; but those who are made re- 
sponsible for the conduct of others, should be 
slow to make a beginning, which so often ends in 
misery. Is not this recreation too near the open 
jaws of temptation, for the safe indulgence of any 
child. So powerful are the laws of association, 
that the things handled in innocent amusement, 
have often conducted the agent in a natural 
course, to scenes which the daylight would blush 
to behold. 

That amusement which may offer no tempta- 
tion to a parent in his riper years, and maturer 
judgment, may completely overpower the child, 
whose propensities are ardent, and whose resis- 
tance is feeble. 

Dancing is a recreation whose movements are 
professedly designed to secure a healthful exercise, 
and promote ease and elegance ; and if the nat- 



YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 179 

ural and established tendencies never went beyond 
these proper objects, it might be perfectly safe to 
indulge in the recreation. But who does not 
know that the tendencies of social dancing lead 
directly on to the exposures of the ball-room, 
late hours, and the night debauch? Not that 
every one reaches the extreme stage, not that a 
majority ever will be ruined ; and yet every one 
who commences is liable to exceed the bounds of 
propriety ; and many will rush over the brink of 
ruin. The transition from one stage to another, 
is so natural and easy, that there is no definite 
stopping place between the commencement and 
the end. The objection is not that this is hurt- 
ful in itself; and yet there are so many substitutes 
which are safer, that this will most safely be dis- 
pensed with. More than one young man. in ruins, 
has quoted the improper dress and the indecent 
movement of the ball-room, as the primal cause 
of all his woe. 

And this allows of the assertion that all amuse- 
ments which directly or indirectly suggest improp- 
er thoughts, are immoral. There are plays and 



180 FAMILY TRAINING. 

scenes in excessive social life, which involve a 
practice of fondling and embracing, whose influ- 
ence upon the passions, is directly inflammatory, 
as the experience of many young persons will 
confirm. In the language of the late Dr. Wood- 
ward, these should be discountenanced and aban- 
doned. 

4. When any form of amusement contradicts 
the plain instructions of the Bible, it is positively 
sinful ; and no reasons can justify it. 

The Author of the Bible, is also the author of 
the human powers ; and there is no need for a 
collision between the uses of the latter, and the 
teachings of the former. If you are obliged to 
walk over the Scriptures, or set aside any passage 
of them, in order to reach the indulgence afforded 
in a given amusement, you are surely in the 
wrong. If your excuse is, that you do not see 
any harm in the practice of that which the 
Scriptures forbid, your fault, then surely is, that 
you have blinded your eyes, or that you will not 
come to the light of truth, "lest your deeds 
should be reproved." 



YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 181 

Some, indeed, have suggested, that it is not 
worth while, to let the adversary have all the 
good things ; but there is no danger of this. He 
does not want them ail ; and there are many he 
could not use, if he had them : but, when he gets 
an engine, or a train, so adapted to his purposes, 
that nearly all who volunteer to work it, are in- 
jured, and many of them destroyed; it is far bet- 
ter that the lovers of moral virtue let it alone, and 
safer, that christian teachers do not advise to it. 
Surely there is a better way to get the advantage 
of the " father of lies ;" let the family instructors 
so cultivate the minds and hearts of the rising 
generation, that they will have no relish for divi- 
ding spoils with him. 

I hardly have need to notice the danger arising 
from the theatre ; since very few who patronize 
this wide gate and broad way " to the pit," will 
ever notice this humble article; and of these, 
fewer still, will probably be influenced, by any- 
thing 1 may say on the subject, 

I have heard the fable of a young lady, who 
frequented the play-house, till finally, she was ru- 



182 FAMILY TRAINING. 

ined. When her friends thought hardly, that so 
fair a flower should he so withered by the destroy- 
er, the Arch Fiend replied, that he found her on 
his own ground j — he had not sought her beyond 
his appropriate limits, and, therefore she was his 
lawful prey ; — none had a right to complain ; and 
if there can be a truly prayerful father and moth- 
er, who will lead their children thus deliberately 
into temptation, they have no right to anticipate 
an answer to their prayers for their safety. This 
palpable transgression of the divine law, forfeits 
the protection of the Law-giver. 

Those amusements are sinful, which lead to 
the neglect of christian duty. 

The main plea for indulgence in them, by 
adults, is, that they furnish the mind and body 
for the better discharge of duty, and so far as this 
extends, it is a valid reason j and yet none can be 
proper for this reason, which disqualify, for the 
most important of all duties. 

5. How far are profitless amusements need- 
ful? 

I refer to those which yield no profit, except 



YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 183 

merely to recreate : and the answer to this ques- 
tion, I am aware, will seem to depend very much 
on habit and education. Those who are early 
educated to regard amusements as the main-spring 
of life, will early come to pay an exorbitant tax 
for the working of this engine. A repetition of 
an inordinate indulgence, grows into a habit, and 
this habit confirms an artificial law, whose de- 
mands will be increasingly imperious. Where 
the structure of society is so artificial that the 
main pursuit of life is pleasure, amusement often 
becomes like the two daughters of the horse-leech, 
"crying give, give;" and yet there can never be 
enough. These artificial desires of the mind, fol- 
low the same law as the morbid appetites of the 
body. Once allow the propensities to play truant 
beyond the limits which the Creator has set to 
their healthful recreation, and they will never af- 
ter, be satisfied within bounds ; and no circum- 
ference beyond, is quite far enough ; when once 
that limit is reached. Nothing will quite satisfy, 
but a little more than the present amount. This 
increasing demand, however, is no reason why it 



1 84 FAMILY TRAINING. 

should be gratified, any more than that the drams 
of the inebriate should be doubled and trebled, to 
satiate his burning thirst. The increase of fuel, 
only increases the intensity of the flame ; and so 
it is often with the advancing stages of amuse- 
ment, when they have surpassed the limits of a 
healthful influence. 

Under a more quiet and natural mode of train- 
ing, change of useful employment is often a salu- 
tary recreation. " Variety is the spice of life;" 
and the varied forms of useful employment will 
yield much of this spice in stimulating the pow- 
ers for useful activity. All the faculties of body 
and mind, afford a direct and decided pleasure by 
their own exercise ; and, ordinarily, this pleasure 
is increased, in proportion as the exercise is ac- 
complishing something useful. There is given to 
most minds a bias for utility; and this natural 
stimulus will go far to supersede the need of arti- 
ficial. This healthful pleasure, may be far ex- 
tended into the domain of usefulness, with de- 
signed recreation. The element of direct value, 
will operate as a life-preserver, to prevent the 



YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 185 

character from sinking in the boiling flood of a 
measureless frivolity. Sweet home may be fitted 
up with many things that will amuse ; and at the 
same time instruct. There, around the family 
hearth-stone, parents may very lawfully, and du- 
tifully, engage in many little games and sports 
with their children ; and, by stopping at the right 
stage, early teach them to be moderate, and satis- 
fied within due bounds. A prevailing error with 
parents is this; because a moderate indulgence 
seems to make the child happy in one degree, 
the inference is that an increase of indulgence 
will enhance the enjoyment in the same propor- 
tion j whereas in truth, restraint is the secret which 
gives to moderate indulgence its power to afford 
pleasure; but if there is too much indulgence, 
this secret main-spring loses its elasticity, and in- 
dulgence, becoming disproportionate, creates a bur- 
den, instead of lightening one. 

Children have ordinarily more correct ideas, on 

many other subjects, than of what makes them 

truly happy. They think it is the indulgence, 

whereas it is the restraint which prepares them to 

13 



186 FAMILY TRAINING. 

enjoy license; and could they have their own 
way, often would they annihilate their pleasure 
by using up the sources of it. 

The volatile, the pleasure-seeking French, are 
often cited as worthy models for the American 
people, in the art of social enjoyment ; but with 
all due deference to the French character in other 
respects, it is not wisdom to copy them in this ; for 
with all their glee and gaiety and fun, there is not 
so much social and personal wretchedness in any 
other nation, possessing the refinements of civiliz- 
ation ; and it is this very practice, which is recom- 
mended for our imitation, that makes them so. 

Facts will fully show, that no where is there 
so much suicide ; — so many tired of life and 
ready to throw it away, before their days are half 
expended. Multitudes close up the courses of 
time, and become their own executioners, because 
existence here, is not considered worth having; 
and really it is not, as many of them spend it ; 
and yet they are set forth as models of the way 
to enjoy life. What numbers exhaust themselves 
in a grand frolic; and wind up, by leaping from 



YOUTHFUL AMUSEMENTS. 187 

the sunny shores of time, into the dark ocean of 
eternity. This is unnatural j and will rarely be 
perpetrated, until great and repeated violence has 
been done to the elements of social character. 
But the simple truth is, that violence is done, and 
often repeated upon the social elements. Their 
whole system of high pressure spreeing, is but 
an accelerated series of violence ; and this is an 
adequate and evident cause of the appaling re- 
sults ; and yet multitudes of the American people 
are zealously writing out the frivolous copy 
which France is setting them ; and that too, with 
fair prospects of the same dismal issue. 

In regard to this recommended imitation, we 
can only say, let those who will, study and prac- 
tice the art of French happiness ; though many a 
sorrowful experience, will at last find that bitter 
as wormwood, which was enchantingly sweet to 
the taste ; but let such as prefer the precepts which 
recommend the substantial employments of real 
life, hold fast the form of sound words, on this 
subject ; then may they hope to enjoy the fruits 
of a correct practice. 



188 FAMILY TRAINING. 



XXIII. 

JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 

Benevolence is good will to others. Benefi- 
cence is the development of good will in the prac- 
tice of good deeds. 

I. This subject is eminently practical. It is 
enjoined in the Scriptures, that we do good unto 
all men as we have opportunity. Our Lord him- 
self directs all to seek first the kingdom of heav- 
en and its righteousness ; and a leading trait in 
the subjects of this kingdom, is beneficence. He 
who came to set up this kingdom, pleased not 
himself; and during his ministry, never remitted 
his self-denial for the welfare of others. What 
He did as our example, he would have all men 
do after their measure. 

It is certain that we can secure no better 
earthly portion for our children, than the luxury 
of doing good. We are engaged in a truly be- 
nevolent work, while we labor to install them 
earlv in this possession. If early initiated, they 



JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 189 

will become better subjects of the kingdom when 
fully adopted. They will lay up a better foun- 
dation for themselves against the time to come ; 
and, as it were, lay a firmer hold on eternal life. 
God has furnished ample means for the early cul- 
ture of beneficence. He has endowed the young 
heart with susceptibilities to care for, and relieve 
the distressed, and help the destitute. Few are 
destitute of these aids to well doing, until de- 
prived of them by abuse. The teachings of 
Christ show clearly, how full the world is of ob- 
jects suited to call these feelings into activity. 
"The poor," He says, we always have with 
us; and we may do them good whenever we 
will. There is no want of subjects ; and we are 
taught to look for them, even among those of for- 
eign nations, and different religions. This natur- 
al sympathy, which lays a foundation for the cul- 
ture of beneficence, needs attention in the germ ; 
lest the over-growth of selfishness, turn the 
melting heart to stone. Let it have real work to 
do. Proper exercise will strengthen and mature 
it. Repetition will mature a habit; and habit 



190 FAMILY TRAINING. 

will more abundantly bless both him that does 
the good, and him that receives the fruit of the 
well doing. This virtue, if properly cultivated, 
and in due season, will open a source of the pur- 
est pleasure ; and it does not simply constitute its 
own reward, but affords protection and safety, 
for the future, where, otherwise, the conduct 
might run into many evils, and leave the charac- 
ter to suffer beyond recovery. 

The child who prefers to part with his quarter, 
for the relief of suffering, rather than spend it for 
confectionery, has the same amount of money 
left. In addition, he has secured a positive bles- 
sing for a fellow creature ; and perhaps has effect- 
ually closed the door of temptation to a leading 
source of dissipation. Juvenile beneficence is em- 
inently a practical virtue. 

II. It is also a virtue of superlative importance. 

1. It is important to the child in the forming 
years of life ; and for this reason, the parent should 
give it an early and careful attention. We must 
trace the line, where we would have the future 
channel, while the current of propensity is feeble* 



JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 191 

and easily directed. If we neglect to do this, the 
wayward tendencies will cut one for themselves, 
in any direction, but the right one. The little 
rill upon the mountain top, can be turned with 
the foot j while the leaping, foaming torrent, far 
adown the steep, little heeds the restraint of any 
barrier to its force ; and yet, it is only the same 
rill in progress. If turned upon the mountain 
top, it may be directed to much useful service. 
If left to its own course, it may spend its useless 
violence; carry no blessing in its course, and 
leave only devastation behind it. So the early 
culture of beneficence, may alter the whole future 
of the child's being. Educate him to do good at 
the expense of self denial, and the whole current 
of his thoughts, desires and actions, will flow in a 
channel directly the opposite of the one, cut by 
consuming everything upon his selfishness; — as 
opposite as life is from death, — as ultimate happi- 
ness is from ultimate misery. 

2. Youthful beneficence is of prime impor- 
tance, to the common welfare of society. 

As a social ingredient where selfishness super^ 



192 FAMILY TRAINING. 

abounds, it will make many a rough place in the 
journey of life smoother; it will erect many an 
arbor along the hill sides of difficulty, in which 
the worn and weary will refresh themselves, and 
bless the providence which reared their comforts. 
The influence of a warm young heart, through 
the deeds of willing hands, will often reduce the 
friction, and prevent the harsh grating of more 
rigid souls. Surely the milk of human kind- 
ness, when reduced to practice, produces the very 
cream of life; and many more would yield it, 
if parents would look after this vital interest in 
season. 

3. The Christian enterprise needs all the be- 
neficence which the most effectual training can 
secure. 

Christians have it in charge, to teach all nations 
the principles and the practice of the Gospel ; a 
work which is to empty every heathen temple, — 
demolish every idol, — do away all oppressions, 
and every where transform the lion of depravity, 
to the lamb of love. This commission, sealed 
with the divine promise, "Lo I am with you 



JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 193 

always," is to be executed by agents of carnal 
propensities, and human training ; and how can a 
ministry, fully competent to such a work, ever be 
secured, until directly or indirectly, the young are 
trained to it, from early childhood? until, like 
Timothy, from a child, they are taught the prin- 
ciples and the practice of doing good on the Gos- 
pel plan? The Bible contains illustrious exam- 
ples of men, who were set apart for divine service 
and consecrated from birth ; but as we are not to 
look for this, though living, if possible in an age 
of larger enterprise, parents are to do their utmost, 
to commence as early as possible. Other things 
being equal, the truest heroes in the sacramental 
host, will be those who drink in the requisite 
spirit from parental lips, almost as soon as they 
draw physical nourishment from those who bear 
them. But on this point, the children of this 
world are wiser in their generation, than the pro- 
fessed children of light ; and the heathen them- 
selves may instruct many in the Christian church. 
We are told that the mothers in the South Sea 
Islands, even before the birth of their children, 



194 FAMILY TRAINING. 

go to the temples with the requisite offerings 
where the priest performs the ceremony of infus- 
ing the spirit of the god into the child. After its 
birth, the same rite is repeated. They also thrust 
gravel stones down the throats of their little ones, 
to give them hard hearts, and make them daunt- 
less warriors. Would that christian parents, un- 
der the surer guide of Revelation, were fully in 
earnest that their children should be filled with 
the Spirit which will make their stony hearts 
soft with love to Christ, and their hands active in 
some department of His cause. 

4. Humanly speaking, an early training is the 
only way to meet the emergencies of Christ's king- 
dom ; for, if all the world were nominally Chris- 
tian, and all of these exhibited a beneficence equal 
to the average in the present Church, we should not 
then witness the Millenium, foretold in the Scrip- 
tures ; for in too many cases, the clutching pro- 
pensities of the wolf, would hardly coalesce with 
the defenceless nature of the kid ; the lamb could 
not lie down with the lion, without sometimes 
feeling a serious grip from his rapacious paw. 



s 



JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 195 

As things now are. large numbers become the 
hopeful children of God so late in life, that in 
practice, divine Grace hardly gains the ascendant 
over the long cherished habits of selfishness ; and 
hence, the present tone of piety is not profound 
enough, were it universally diffused. In far too 
many cases, its entire strength is required to main- 
tain the outward form ; so it leaves nothing to ad- 
vance upon the work beyond a personal interest. 
What, though the soul of the miser be transformed 
in middle life, he will not readily relinquish his 
clutch upon the idol possessions, which he has 
held so long and lovingly. God does not at once, 
so entirely reverse the force of his nature, as to 
make giving, solely for the good of others, free 
and easy. No ; he must first unshakle all his for- 
mer habits, — unnerve his long cherished propensi- 
ties, and go back to the simplicity of a little child, 
before he can really commence the great work of 
his new life. How much better for him and the 
world, had he commenced, when a little child, 
and grown up directly to the full stature of a be- 



196 FAMILY TRAINING. 

neficent man ! Then all would have been com- 
paratively natural and easy. 

III. Some of the means for cultivating juve- 
nile beneficence are evident. 

1. It is not difficult to teach an ordinary child 
that all he receives comes from God ; — that home 
and friends, and light and food and breath, are as 
really the gifts of his beneficence, as though he 
were disposing the gifts with a visible hand. 
Only impress intelligently and forcibly on the 
young mind, " Freely ye have received," and you 
have most surely wakened some natural sense of 
obligation to give freely, from that which has been 
gratuitously bestowed. But if this young suscep- 
tibility is allowed to callous over, uuder the re- 
peated practice of undisturbed selfishness, Jeho- 
vah may exhaust himself in giving; and yet 
create no sense of obligation, to" give, in return. 
The soul that has long grown selfish by practice, 
may become like the bottomless reservoir, which 
though it receive the universe as favor, will return 
nothing as gratitude. Therefore 



JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 197 

2. Commence early. The Hindoo learns his 
little son to pull on the rope which moves the car 
of Juggernaut, while his strength is feeble ; and 
so he comes to "pull with a will" at mature age. 

Are you waiting for your child to become a de- 
cided Christian, before you commence the culti- 
vation of this virtue? Then you may delay till 
you are removed from your stewardship; and 
your child is sealed for perdition. But if Infinite 
Mercy should at length snatch him as a brand 
from the burning, it may not be until so late a 
period, that the remainder of life will be required 
to overcome the evils already established; — so, 
by the time the instrument is fitted for use, it is 
falling to decay. 

The child who possesses a moral and rational 
nature, has all the elements, with which to com- 
mence the culture of beneficence; and such a 
commencement may forestall a thousand dangers 
which threaten the welfare of the child. It will 
render the subject vastly more hopeful as the fu- 
ture disciple of Christ. 

3. The cultivation of beneficence, must be a 



198 FAMILY TRAINING. 

leading object in the education of the child. And 
yet who can believe such a sentiment, if the cur- 
rent practice, even of the Church, is taken as the 
true standard ? The salvation of the soul, is to 
be sought, as much for the good it can do, as for 
the safety it will secure by renewal ; and perhaps 
even more ; for what is a soul really worth even 
after it is regenerated, if it can do nothing for Him 
who has redeemed it ? and how few think any 
thing as much of the service the renewed soul can 
render to Christ, as they do of the personal safe- 
ty it will obtain. Early piety often accomplishes 
very little, because it is not set to work in the 
Master's service. The single pound which grace 
originally gives, is not expected to gain five ; or 
even two ; but to be hid up in a napkin to enter 
heaven with ! Says a living writer, " If the con- 
duct of parents, is a key to their feelings, the 
most, even of those desiring the salvation of their 
children, make their temporal welfare the first ob- 
ject, the salvation of their souls the secondary, 
while the object of fitting them for eminent use- 
fulness, is sunk almost out of sight. In selecting 



JUVENILE BENEFICENCE. 199 

their places of education, their trades and profes- 
sions, parents usually regard chiefly, if not solely, 
the temporal welfare of their children. Not only 
the child's usefulness and his conversion, but even 
his moral character is made secondary to the re- 
gard to worldly advantage. The maxims on 
which parents educate their children, are the max- 
ims of the world; whatever their precepts, they 
insensibly accustom them to be influenced prima- 
rily by a regard to worldly acquisitions, to worldly 
honor and popularity. Truth compels the declar- 
ation in regard to the majority." If this is not 
first in their avowal, " it is first in their thoughts 
and first in their plans. Truth equally demands 
the declaration, that he who educates his ehild on 
these principles, is recreant to his Maker, — false 
to his trust, faithless to his child, regardless of his 
vows, and his duty to the world." This is strong 
language; and yet who will say it is stronger 
than facts and the truth will sustain ? 

4. If parents would establish their children in 
this virtue, they must set the example. Nothing 
will profit more by a living illustration, than this 



200 FAMILY TRAINING. 

department of character. So long as the law of 
covetousness blinds our own eyes, we cannot see 
clearly to pull out the growing mote of selfishness 
from the eyes of our children. Precept, most of 
all in this direction, must have bright reflectors of 
the living grace ; — it must have impressive exam- 
ples of the excellence of doing good, or it will 
not guide the young mind into a practice of the 
truth. He who cannot show in his own experi- 
ence, that " It is more blessed to give than to re- 
ceive," will put his young learners on their guard 
against the practice. Only let it be seen that you 
hold on as long as you can, — that you part with 
a sigh, when argument and decency fail to sus- 
tain you, and you will effectually scare the ten- 
der feelings of your little ones, back into the 
deep recesses of their native selfishness. Surely 
God loveth a cheerful giver ; the world hath full 
need of such ; and there might be many more of 
these, if parents would be more careful to have 
their example confirm the sincerity of their 
precepts. 



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